I'm sorry to here your husbands diagnosis. I was diagnosed as stage 4 in December 2019 aged 34. About a month after diagnosis I felt really down for about a month.
The best way people supported me was to be there and listen, be sad with me when I felt sad rather than trying to cheer me up and being happy with me when I felt happy. I was scared of a respiratory death and learning about the doctrine of double effect took my fear of death away completely. Once I realised that morphine would stop any pain and difficulty breathing I was no longer scared (I hope that's not too much information, but it was my biggest fear and the information that I would just become sleepy really got me over that fear)
I don't know if you're in touch with Macmillan but the financial support I received from them was a big help. Also the hospice offer councilling for the patient and thier family. I am happy knowing my family can receive councilling if they need it. I imagine your husband will want to know you have people you can turn to as well.
I found it lovely that my mum and dad would make me the food I felt like eating. Little portions and often. I kept up contact with friends and still went out for exercise on chemo and in lockdown. A walk very early in the morning or a drive to a quite spot to walk can boost your mood and give you normality without putting you at risk while you're on chemo.
I am one year post diagnosis having had lots of operations and on my second lot of chemo. Other than not working I'm living a normal life and it's because I have had such good support.
Reading this sort of thing is terrible at first but it does get much easier. It takes a little bit of time to accept the situation and it's important to go at your husbands pace (you may be doing more reading than him depending on what drugs he's on)
My main worry is that my family don't know the severity of my illness and may have too much false hope. Although there is a chance to live a long time and even go into remission, in my case now that's not really real. So you feel like saying to your husband that he'll beat this, and of course he might, but it's important to be on the same page as him. If he know his odds, it's good to acknowledge that with him in my experience.
You can help him to live a normal and happy life by keeping up the things you always did together when he's well enough. I go for car coffees instead of cafe coffees in a nice spot with my friend.
Another friend bout me 'queesy drops' anti sickness sweets online which helped with chemo. And keeping up with anti sickness meds and pain relief if it's needed. You can ask for extra anti sickness meds if what they give you to take home isn't enough.
you're probably at the worst part now, it does get better even with the ups and downs cancer brings, you and your husband will have lots of normal happy days again.
we were told Christmas Eve that my husbands lung cancer had returned. He had a left lung removed in August 2019. A scan in September 2020 was apparently clear but he was having pain in left side since just after the first lockdown. The pain was put down to nerve damage, but he was only ever spoken to via telephone consultations with his surgeon and GP. I called an ambulance Christmas week as he was very breathless and in terrible pain, a CT scan showed rapid spread to chest wall, right lung and ribs. On New Years Eve we were told that the treatment plan is for palliative care only, he is 59 today. We both feel numb, cheated and angry.
it does make you feel worse than the cancer itself,its easy to say just be there.but thats what ya gotta do,that hug,that peck on the cheek,it goes a long way.i cant be bothered with the mcmillan people so i just work,ya both there together fighting the same thing dont give up on each other,every day is a bonus so treat it that way,him as well.
Im so sorry to hear that. It must be horrible to hear palliative care only. I think support may be to help him address his worries and try to take care of yourself as much as you can as well. Maybe help him make a list of things he'd like to get squared off. I'm sorry if I'm not much help I'm just thinking of the things I want to do and suggesting those x
Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your husband , can I ask you did he have adjuvant chemotherapy after his operation? My husband had two lobes removed from his right lung February 2019 followed by adjuvant chemotherapy, he had a routine chest X-ray done a fortnight ago and then hospital rang and said he had to go for a scan which he did last week. I’m a bit worried as he has received a letter today to attend a hospital appt with specialist in two weeks time but no mention of scan results.
