Is my mum in her final stages of life?

Hi all, my wonderful Mum was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer in August 2020 at only 47 years old, she is now 48. She started treatment in September and by the time the treatment had started it had spread to her stomach. She responded well to the treatment the first time around as her tumour in her gallbladder had shrunk and it had also shrunk a little in the stomach. Recently though, she has been in and out of hospital, she had a blood clot not long after her first few sessions of chemo and a blockage in her stomach this week. as she has been so so poorly which we all just thought was chemo symptoms but now looking at it, i feel like some of the symptoms could be her in her final weeks or so of life. She sleeps nearly all day and night, gets really clammy and hot, doesn't eat or drink, loads of confusion. Today my stepdad had to meet with her oncologist who told him that he was stopping my mums treatment due to the fact she is so unwell and also although the primary tumour in the gallbladder has shrunk again, it has started spreading in her stomach. I didn't even know it was possible for it to happen like that. She looks so drastically different to how she did just a few short months ago, she has lost nearly 4 stone, she looks pale, tired, is so fragile, i am struggling so badly to see someone i love so much get so unwell. she doesn't even speak to me anymore really, she was so determined to fight this disease when she was first diagnosed and now it's like she has lost herself. i miss her so much already because i feel cancer has already taken her. the oncologist has advised my stepdad book her into a hospice now to get her pain under control. My stepdad is quite in denial in my opinion and doesn't tell me the full story of what was said in that room today because he doesn't want to believe it and i obviously understand that but am i right to think she may be in her final stages? could chemo really have done all this? she was allowed home for christmas day and slept the entire day, didn't hardly say two words, didn't eat a thing. I know gallbladder cancer is nasty but it's also rare so i find it hard to read up anything about it.

 

Warm wishes to you all.

  • Hello Pitt

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and that the Oncologist now feels treatment options are no longer appropriate for her. 

    It's so hard to watch someone that you love change in the ways that you've described and it's understandable that your Stepdad maybe, to an extent, in denial about what is happening. I hope that he is able to arrange some hospice care to help make your Mum more comfortable. 

    We do have some information on our website about gallbladder cancer but I think you might find it helpful to have a chat with one of our team of nurses. I'm sure they will be able to offer you some information and support. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Keep in touch Pitt. I'm sure the community will do their best to support you through this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Hey. 
    I don't have any answers for you; but I just wanted to say I'm sending love and thoughts your way. Cancer is a terrible illness and I can absolutely relate to what you say about watching someone you love (who was so well not so long ago) become so poorly and fragile. I'm going through this myself with lung cancer and my grandad. 
    lots of love x