Hi everyone. Thank you for accepting me in your group. I lost my mum to ovarian cancer 18 years ago yesterday. She was just 54. I miss her so much every single day. Now, my dad has days/weeks left to live and I'm back to that devastation and feeling helpless again. He spent 6 months in hospital this year-firstly in intensive care in an induced coma and then the spinal injuries unit for constantly falling at home which lead to further complications and being paraylsed from his waist down. He came home in July with a care plan,  but suffered horrendous headaches every single day, slumped in his wheelchair with his head in his hands.  I was constantly ringing his gp expressing my concerns and he kept saying they were JUST migraines which he will constantly suffer with he said because 2 years previously he had skin cancer on his head. When they performed surgery on it, they found the cancer had gone deep inside the crevices in his head and the surgery lasted 12 hours instead of the planned 7.

So back to this year. The headaches continued and then 2 weeks ago,  he also couldn't stay awake and he said he had horrendous pain behind his right eye. He was exhausted and in so much pain. It was breaking my heart to watch this so I rang an ambulance. In hospital he had MRI scans, blood tests, X rays, investigation after investigations and at first they said they had found a chronic bleed on the brain but didn't know how it could have got there as he is wheelchair and bed bound - he can't have had any traumas?? Then 3 days later they have said it is cancer in his brain. Where had it come from, they didn't know. They checked his chest and lungs- all clear. Then after further mri scans, they found a mass behind his eyes and the cancer in his bone in the skull. They all agreed it was spreading and there was no more they could do but keep him comfortabe and give him the indivulaist care plan. No more prodding, poking, injections,  scans or blood tests. No resuscitation. We have been told he has days to weeks tops left. This was on the 21st December 2020..I am devastated. He's gone through so much already for this to then happen.

He is calling me on the phone from hospital with help from nurses and sounds absolutely fine most of the time but is confused at other times and makes no sense. He doesn't sound that ill. However I visited him yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks( because we hadn't been told we could visit now he's on ICP care.) I was shocked and so upset. He can't open his eyes, well, he can use his left eye just slightly. He is thin, whispering because he is too weak to talk and so so tired. He's got a driver now and a constant steady flow of morphine but has it topped up throughout the day. He is still eating and drinking but just tiny amounts and he struggles to swallow.

I am so angry that his gp failed to look into this further much sooner because he might have been able to get chemo or radio but even better pain relief instead of struggling for months in intense pain. I knew something was wrong. I knew it and I'm not a doctor. Surely a patient with previous head cancer in the last 2 years suffering with intense headaches constantly would make you think hang on, this needs checking out properly?? I dont think my Dad has got days, I think its more likely weeks yet, but alls I want now is for him to be comfortable and in no pain. He wants to go home but I'm worried he won't get the best care there like he would in the hospital. Apparany he isn't applicable for a hospice because his symptons are not symptomatic whatever that means???

I feel like he's been neglected right the way through and I just wanted to share this with you. I'm so sorry for my essay