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Is the end near?

Tiddles21
Offline

Hey,

 

So I'm just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar with my situation.

 

My mum has terminal cancer, primarily pancreatic, had the whipped op, then found out 7 months later it had returned. She was diagnosed with peritoneal cancer, now on Christmas Eve we found out the cancer had grown even more to the liver. They have offered her a new chemo but waiting on the go ahead depending on her liver functions.

She was on dexmatasone and had steroid induced mania, when the hospital realised then immediately took her off the tablets which was at the beginning of novemeber.

 

But now she's stopped eating, barely able to get any fluids down. The majority of the time when she does eat she brings it back up. There has been no bowel movement for over a week. She is sleeping all of the time. No energy, lost so mich weight. When she wake up she is very alert. She doesn't want to get a bath or look after herself at all. Just wants to sleep everything away.
 

Due to COVID she refuses to have anyone in for palliative care and refuses to go to the hospital. As a family we are so concerned. 
 

Any advice of how to go about this would be appreciated, or someone who has gone through or going through this. 

thanks in advance 

 

x

 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hi, 

    im sorry you're going through this, It's very very tough and I honestly sympathise with your dilemma. You want the best for her but also to keep her as happy as possible.

    My mum is also dealing with a secondary diagnosis and is now receiving palliative care at home, after being in hospital for a month. I would like to reassure you (and your mum if you choose to pass this info on) that we've had absolutely no concerns or worries about the district nurses and the potential risk of Covid. They always wear gowns, gloves, masks and goggles. And as far as I am aware they are tested regularly. I understand your mums worries but it's a shame that fear of the unknown is potentially holding back her care. Could they speak to your mum over the phone and try to ease her apprehension maybe?
    Best of luck, Charlotte 

  • Hello Tiddles21

    I'm sorry tohear about your Mum's diagnosis and that things have deteriorated recently. 

    Although understandable that she is refusing some care due to fears about Covid19 it's obviously very difficult for you as a family and I can understand your concerns. 

    I wonder if your Mum would be agreeable to you phoning her GP to discuss the situation and ask for some advice. Perhaps if you explain to her that you need to speak to someone for advice and guidance to try and make sure she is able to stay at home and remain comfortable she might agree to that. 

    If you'd like to talk things through with one of our nurses first you're most welcome to call them. They're available Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays) 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. I'm sure they will be able to offer you some advice and support. 

    I do hope that you're able to get some help and support put into place soon. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hello,

    Thank you for your quick response, I'm calling the district nurse tomorrow to come abs visit her as we are all so worried. Depending on what she says will probably depend on what happens next. 
     

    It is just so confusing and I know she is very alert when she is awake which makes me second guess everything. She is  also a diabetic which makes us all more concerned that she won't eat. I gave her a gel sugar sachet this evening and she brought it straight back up. She is literally surviving on jelly sweets to keep her bloods up. 
     

    Due to the amount of tablets she is taking everyday I'm really not sure if she is safe.

     

    As a family we feel like we are failing her and not doing the right things by her, but she keeps saying she is fine and doesn't need anyone in the help her. It's so hard to decide what to do next.

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