Hi Everyone,

Unfortunately my Dad (63) was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer in July - he was absolutely fine save for a pain in his back (liver). Said he felt great and never better, they knew it was cancer but not sure the primary so we had to wait a week for a biopsy (due to blood thinners). In that week everything changed. Nearer the biopsy he seemed forgetful until the day after when we found out there were mets in his brain and he lost the ability to find his words and communicate or understand. Fortunately he had radiation on the brain and he was back and doing well. He started chemo and immunotherapy to prolong his life and has been great.

I should add that my dad lives in Bangkok, Thailand and through all of this I haven't been able to go and visit him as they have closed the borders to everyone. My mum is German and though her english is phenomenal I have definitely felt the struggle of finding information second hand and asking questions from my a native English speaker to her second language and ultimately the consultants second language (first being thai).

During a routine PET scan they found that the tumours had either stayed the same or shrunk however there were 4 new tumours which have since been confirmed as cancer. The Drs have been figuring out what treatment to pivot to (as he has handled everything so well) and then we have been waiting for the insurance to sign off double immunotherapy. In these past 6 weeks off treatment I have noticed a decline in my Dad - he is awfully tired, in a lot of pain (even with morphine and opiods), not eating and is withdrawn in social situations (my dad is always the centre of the conersation telling a story!)

Over this last weekend my mum said he didn't go to the loo at all for 3 days and felt very neausious and in pain; yesterday his right leg stopped working altogether and he was taken to hospital. We are waiting for some MRI results. My mum said he is quite delirious (but she can't tell if it's the meds) and he is being very rude/aggressive when he isn't sleeping. 

I have no way of getting to Thailand or speaking directly to any consultants etc. I am trying to understand though from other people's awful experiences, whether this seems like a decline that will not be bounced back from? I have worried that everything would change very quickly and all be very sudden - is this the right thing to expect from lung cancer?

I can't be there or support and the distance is heartbreaking - I just want to be prepared particularly with a new lockdown looming - if it's bad news at least I can prepare!

Any advice or shared experience would be greatly appreciated!