Hi l am so sorry that you and your Mum are going through this horrible time. I experienced the same with my husband who died 17 months ago. Lung cancer then spread to brain, chemo, radiotherapy, died 10 months from diagnosis. He wanted to stay at home, l was very frightened but the district nurses and GP were wonderful. What l will say is he went really downhill about 12 days before he passed. Took to his bed and declined daily. He had a driver fitted and passed gently,l had a close friend with me at the time. Thinking of you. X

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss....

Gosh, this cancer thing is awful isn't it?

Mum can't get up the stairs to bed now and her cough is very very bad... Also she is dizzy and her feet and legs are so swollen. The swelling goes down a little when her feet are up but then as soon as she puts her feet down they blow up like balloons... Her toes look a little blue as well. They don't hurt and she isn't cold but she is really slowing down now. Do you think she is in her last days? I know you probably can't answer that... You mentioned the final 12 days were bad... I'm beginning to think this could be the start of that too. 
The oncologist is calling tomorrow with news of her latest scan so I suppose the harsh realities of everything will hit home tomorrow. Mum has already said I mustn't get upset with what he says.... So I know Mum is aware now of how bad things are. 
I really am finding everything quite difficult now and it's like being in a nightmare.....
 

Hi, it's a difficult time, l must admit that along with the sadness there was a small part of relief. For months you know this day will come and then it does and they have gone. Months of caring and your whole life controlled by cancer then bang! It took a long time for me to get to the point when l realised didn't need to rush home from town anymore. The last days weren't bad, but every day John was weaker. He was able to talk that last morning, not much but he did. The GP, told me 3 to 8 hours when he fitted the driver at 3pm. John died at 11.20 that night. It was Bank Holiday Monday the day before. My daughter and family visited and a friend who is a nurse, he was talking to them. The next morning l saw a big change. The district nurse came as usual, she prepared me, as l had never seen anyone die before. All were shocked that he eventually passed so quickly. It did help that my friend stayed a retired nurse, she had known John before l met him. She was in the next room when he passed. I went to get my pj's came back into the bedroom and caught his last breath. It's as if he waited until we had left. We had been sitting by him all day. As l said he went peacefully and at home as he wanted. If you have family who can stay with you it does help. Take all the help offered to you. God bless. 

Hi there...

I don't understand what "the driver" is....

Is it something to assist breathing?

Sorry if it's really obvious. 
 

Oh sorry,it's a syringe driver, a small box with meds in, used intravenously instead of giving injections . It delivers a continuous flow of drugs, pain relief. I should have explained earlier.

Ahh, thank you for explaining that. 

Good evening xx

I'm new here and was just looking through threads and came across your post...I'm just so sorry you have lost your husband...I can imagine how uou feel as I watched my dad pass away two years ago. The only ok thing was that he passed so peacefully as I'm thinking your husband did. It doesn't take away the pain but it eases it a little. 

Much much love to you  

Tracy xxx

Hi, l am sorry about your Dad the hurt  never goes away.,does it. Only consolation, is my husband went peacefully and at home. He really didn't want to go to hospital. X