Terminal Cancer: Is this normal?

Hi,

 I am writing this post as I don’t know how to manage the current situation with my mom.

She has TNBC and have been on terminal stage since December last year and recently she’s became very difficult to manage. She has constipation and spends the whole day going back and forth to the bathroom and stressing about the constipation, we got her diapers so that she can stay in bed and don’t stress about it but she refuses to wear them. Whenever we persuade her to wear them she just get up and remove them in front of us. She has difficulty walking so we always need to be near her to help her and make sure she doesn’t fall. Recently she hasn’t been wanting to sleep at all during the night and wants to keep the light on even though my dad sleeps near her. He’s been her primary caregiver and he’s in his 70s and suffer from many health issues as well. She refuses to eat if it’s not him who makes her food and asks for him to shower her and stay with her. The issue now is that he is completely exhausted and doesn’t get a single night sleep and I am very scared for him. I live in a different country, I took a month off work to come help but work is calling me back now. I am not sure if this is part of the illness or if there is at least something that could help her sleep at night just so that my dad can get some rest :( doctors only gave her some pain killers and anti inflammatory medecin.

 

thanks

  • Hello positivityisthekey

    I'm sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and how much your Dad is struggling with caring for her at the moment.

    I'm a little unsure from this post if you're currently with your parents or not. If you are then I'd suggest getting in touch with your Mum's GP or the team managing her care to ask what additional support is available for your Dad to help with looking after your Mum. 

    It's not uncommon for some cancer patients to become restless and for there to be some behavioural changes. I'm sure if you or your Dad were able to speak to her GP or Consultant and explain the situation that there may be something they can do to help make Mum more comfortable which may also make things easier for your Dad as well. 

    If you'd like to speak to one of our nurses for some advice then you're welcome to give them a call. They're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. 

    I do hope that some support is able to be put in place to help your parents. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator