My dad (aged 62) has been battling Alzheimers for the past 7 years.  We had to make the terrible decision in June to place in him in a care home permanently.  We received a call from his care home on Monday as he had collapsed and was taken to hospital and he has now been diagnosed with Lung Cancer.

The consultant I spoke with explained that the tumor is deep in the right lung with secondary cancer in the lining of the lungs, he also didnt rule out the cancer in other parts of the body but due to my dads advanced dementia we agreed not to do further tests, scans etc.  There is no point in poking and prodding him when he is so confused.  We agreed that we would get him back to his care home (after two negative covid tests) and make what short time he has left comfortable.

I just feel so lost and helpless, I havent saw my dad due to Covid restrictions for 6 weeks and I was very shocked at his appearance, he was always a big man and he was so thin and frail and I felt his skin was very yellow too.  Has anyone had any experience of a loved one in palliative care in a care home, it is also such a difficult time with all the restrictions in place with visiting.

The doctor stated that he couldnt tell me what stage the cancer was as no bipsy has been done but he thought he would have a FEW months at least, I asked if he would make it until Christmas and he said that he would be very surprised if he made it until then.  He did say that the tumor is deep in the lung so my dad isnt showing symptoms of pain as the tumor is not pressing against the ribs.  I just dont know what to expect over the next few weeks, will he just get frailer and frailer as the days go on, will he just eventually sleep away.  What an awful situation waiting on someone you love to die, do you wake up each morning and say "will this be the day"