Hi Jules

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you are in the final stages with your mum. Reading your post is so very sad and I feel your pain.

i would say soak up every precious minute you can and even though you can't communicate very well with her just don't miss a second of being with her.

I lost my darling mum at the beginning of the year and how you describe your relationship with your mum totally mirrored mine, I'd do anything just to be able to see her once again.

My heart goes out to you and wishing  you and your family strength for the next coming days/weeks.

Best wishes

Nicola x

Hi I am so sorry to read this and about your lovely mum. I lost my dad 6 weeks ago tonight and missed his final days due to hospitals, covid rules and him dying very quickly. However, I wanted to say how precious this time is that you have now. My dad saw people towards the end and now, this gives us comfort to hope perhaps somebody came for him. 

My dad was my world. I am 52 and he was 75 and I loved him to bits. Even as a 52 year old, he was my hero. He was everything to me and I thought I would die if he died. When I heard he had died that night I thought I wouldn't cope. But you do cope and you pull out amazing amounts of strength that you never knew you had in you, believe me. I know. We are devastated, we cry lots, we talk about him all the time. I think about him every minute of the day, yet we have had lots of moments of joy and peace during what is the worst time of my family's life. Please believe me, when the time comes you will be able to deal with it in your own way. Take care and my prayers and blessings to you all. 

Thank you for your kind words.  My sister and I have not left her side, it’s so hard to cope with the terminal agitation, and hallucinating, she’s quite angry.  

It’s so important to us that she is peaceful and so far it’s anything but.  We are starting to feel guilty for bringing her to the hospice, despite it being her wish, but I know we couldn’t have coped with the care at home. 

Thank you again for being so kind. It means a lot to me x

So sorry to hear about your Dad, my heart goes out to you  

Thank you for replying to my post and being so kind. I wish mum was peaceful and content here but she’s so agitated and cross and confused. That makes a horrendous situation so much harder, seeing her like this.  I feel so guilty. 

Thank you for being so open about coping with life afterwards, I have two amazing children and I will carry on for them, but right now I feel I’m living a nightmare. 

Sending love to you xxxx

Thank you Jules, that is lovely of you to be so kind to me.

I am sure it is just the drugs causing your mum to behave differently. I know from my mum that my dad was the same and she found it very distressing. There are not really any words that can help make it better for you, but please know so many people on here understand what you are going through. I was listening to a radio show, and somebody commented that when we go through life experiences, we have celebrations, get togethers and many of these are things we prepare for. However, nothing prepares us for death. But they also went on to say that later down the line they realised that it had prepared them to help someone else through it one day, which I thought was a nice idea. And very true. 

Look after yourself and your sister and I am thinking about you and your mum x