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Dads final day’s...

Billyb3
Offline

Hi,

My dads in his final day's with secondary cancer...  and it worries me a lot that I won't be there at the right time to say goodbye...

what's making this feel worse is that of my siblings I'm the last to know anything, yet live a significant distance away, they are 5 mins away.   I raised this with my family and well, let's just say it didn't go down well.   This isn't a huge surprise as they are quite selfish people.  In fact when I told friends none where surprised. 

I'm sure I'm not the first person to be in this situation... but what should I do?? Just leave it or continue to push my point?

I don't want him to pass full of regrets.  

thanks. 

  • Hi Billyb3,

    This sounds like a really tough situation. As you say, it's probably good to avoid getting into a dispute that could affect your dad - but equally it's an important issue for you. Perhaps you could raise it with just one of your siblings or family members, on a one-to-one basis, to explain your reasoning and that you simply want to be kept in the loop for your dad's sake.

    Alongside this of course try to keep in touch with your dad's medical team too, ensuring that they know you are a key point of contact.

    Hopefully others here will respond with some thoughts too - my reply will boost your post so more people should see it.

    I hope the situation can improve a little for you soon. Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Ben

    Mum asked my wife if I was okay.

    mum at first didn't understand, but as the conversation progressed understood my point of view.  She then spoke to my siblings and made clear how things should progress.  Everyone was happy with that, with no animosity. 

    so glad as dad then declined so fast that he passed away last night. 

    I was there, got to say bye and told him I loved him.   I can't understate how important that was to me.  And as a family felt loads closer. 

    still struggling to accept he's gone, feels like there's some tough days ahead!

    love you dad, hope we meet again one day! X

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