I've been living and dealing with cervical cancer for 2 years now and it's now come to a head. I'm 38 with 2 children and I've recently been told I'll most likely not make it till Christmas. I know I need to think about things and talk things through but I just get so upset. It's not fair, this was not what was meant to happen. I'm not going to be there for my children when they need me, I'll not see them grow up. They have different dad's so will now be seperated. I'm so reliant on pain killers now and have a syringe driver so between that and covid we'll not get a last holiday abroad. My bucket list was filled with travel and I already missed my holiday last year due to my surgery, which proved pointless. I just can't get my head round it, I keep thinking there must be something else. I want to be settled and be at peace with it all but I don't know how to come to terms with it. I worry I'm going to have a horrible painful death too, I'm absolutely terrified.
