Hello everyone
My 47 y/o brother is palliative with a brain tumour and wants to die at home,
I love my brother very much, he took care of me and protected me, I just want to do right by him, I'm finding it hard to stay with him in the night and the day, I feel he needs physical comfort and he asks me for feet and leg massages, I also try to break his day up by putting on an audio book and feeding him making sure his skins okay and he is clean
When I stay round at night he is very restless and I end up not sleeping then find it hard to be there the next day also, I go home anxious that no one has given him any comfort and feel he is left alone for many hours of the day, his wife does not seem to see his need for this comfort as much as me, or feel moved to spend more than a few minutes interacting with him, although she does sleep in a recliner chair next to him and reports she sleeps through the night apart from when he calls out to her once or twice (how is it possible to sleep when he is so breathless and restless? )
I feel we need to show him as much comfort and love now, not wait untill he is on the morphine infuson, but cant do it on my own,my fear is I will go home and he will die on his own so should I grin and bare it ,just try to stay with him 24 hours a day ? or accept he will feel anxious, confused and breathless and no one will be with him,
how does one balance time and self care when you are the persons only supply of emotional comfort ? any suggestions would be warmly welcomed