I'm finding it difficult to get answers to be honest due to the 3 different locations of the cancer, if you are anything like me you like to know every single little detail and unfortunately sometimes they just don't have it. I've asked for an updated prognosis and I seem to not get any answers but I suppose that's because I'm speaking to the axillary health care assistances not the actual doctor's.

Mum really struggled talking about it all originally, don't take it to heart,he is probably struggling with 'the unknown' himself. 

X

Yes I quite agree. 

I do want to know every little detail. I cant understand how my dad is so calm with all the delays and waiting. Theve said he has cancer in so many places but cant tell us where it started until he has the biospy. I think if someone is given 6/8 weeks to live they should at least be able to back it up with facts not do everything like they have all the time in the world. 

Im glad im seeing them tomorrow it seems like such a long time ago since we last met up.

I hope you get to speak to your mum very soon and hear quickly back from the drs. x

Hello Ollie your story is so very similar to my mums I just want to ask check with them if your dads liver biopsy is completely nessesary for your dad,my mums only symptom was a seizure one day she was brought into hospital they diagnosed primary lung cancer with brain mets and a diagnosis of months a liver biopsy was scheduled but in between times she was absolutely fine she then had the biopsy and afterwards had to lie flat for 7 hours she came home and has done nothing but suffer with a pain in her back ever since it may of course just be coincidence but I'm not so sure so please make sure that your dads biopsy is absolutely necessary . X

Hi Kezzy83. 

Thank you for your reply, im so sorry to hear about your mum. Are they doing anything for your mum.? Does she take anything for the pain? Was their no option of any treatment? Sorry for all the questions my head is still spinning. 

The hospital said a lung biopsy would be to invasive so want to take cells out of the liver to establish where the cancer started. If it turns out to be the lung then they have some treatment options to offer him. If its the pancreatias then no treatment.

They did hope something might of shown up in the blood test but everything came back normal. 

Its very hard to know what to do for the best to be honest, I still cant believe its all happening to be honest. x

Just want to say I'm so sorry for all of you and what you and your loved ones are going through. I've sadly joined your club being told today my Step Dad has months left. Still in shock I guess and it doesn't seem real! Has all happened so fast. 
Both my bio parents were diagnosed with lung cancer (father) and breast cancer (Mother) both stage 1 and treatable in October 2019. I felt like I was just healing from the last 10 months when my Step Dad gets this awful diagnosis after suffering from lower back pain which was initially misdiagnosed as sciatica. After a stomach hemorraghe in June he was released from hospital (after a 2 week stay) and we were still told sciatica! Back in hospital on 24th of June when pain became intolerable. Since 24th of June we've discovered he has small cell lung cancer in his adrenals, liver, spine/skull, brain. Starting chemo tomorrow already had one session of radiation on lower back. I haven't seen my mum and step dad since the October when mum became sick and then her treatment ended just before lockdown. They are far from me I just feel frustrated I can't support them the way I would like. Step Dad being told all this while he's alone because of covid relaying info to my mum who is shielding and distressed who's then relaying to me. Feel helpless tbh. Can't believe how quick it's all happened. Thanks to those for posting about your terribly sad experiences (wish you didn't have to) but this has really helped me recognise I am not alone in this even though I wish I was!
My Step Dad is 68  
 

Hi Emz 11.

Im so sorry to hear what you are going through with you dad. And 3 parents as well it must be like living a nightmare. I do hope youve also got support in real life as well as on here. Is your step dad still in hospital?

My dad is home and the difference in him is amazing. You would never know he had anything from with him. 

I think the way hospitals are dealing with cancer during lockdown is absolutely horrendous. People are told such deviating news while all alone and relaying the news to partners who are equally all alone, it really is awful.

We still dont know what type of lung cancer my dad has or ecen if it started in the lung. 

I do hope your stepdad responds to treatment, maybe ask him if you can speak with the dr. 

We did manage to we had a list of questions prepared beforehand. We now have the number of the lung nurse who is a massive help with any questions and support you may need. 

Take care and keep in touchx

Ollie thank you so much for responding. 
I'm so glad your Dad is home and feels better, may he continue to improve!! My Dad is still in the hospital, 2 weeks today. You've encouraged me to ask more questions Ollie, my mum seems to be the only one receiving info from doctors intermittently and of course where she is highly stressed right now, I feel that I'm not getting all the info. It's coming through randomly and I just feel it's adding to my confusion regarding the whole situation. Wouldn't you think there would be some additional support for the families of cancer patients in these circumstances? We were told we would be able to video call him because he has two young grandchildren but it never happened. Even one phone call would help just to know what's going on. 
It's been really tough having all 3 parents diagnosed with cancer in 10 months. Sometimes I struggle with processing it but I'm grateful two of them are in recovery. I don't speak with my bio Dad and am closer to my Step Dad. You never want to see your parents suffer. It's so tough. I have been accessing helplines for support and can't praise McMillan helpline enough I called them when my mum was diagnosed and yesterday regarding my Step Dad. They really are amazing as is this facility and being able to speak to others. I wish none of us were in this situation Ollie. I have so much more respect and understanding for cancer patients and their families. It really is a rollercoaster of emotions. 
I refuse to give up on him and my mum is insinuating I am maybe in denial but I can't give up on him I like to believe that there is hope even in the darkest days xxxx 

Hi Emz11

Thank you for your reply. How awful that your dad is still in hospital any news of him coming home.? 

My mum gave the dr my daughters phone number as she was in total shock and not taking anything in. 

When he got his oncology appointment the dr said my mum could go to at the time my dad was still in hospital. My mum begged the dr to let my daughter join them for the meeting as we had a list of so many questions we wanted to ask. 

At first they said no but may be possible to join the meeting by video call. They did eventually let her go though which was such a great help. 

I thibk think the drs were shocked at how much research we had done and realised we were not going to allow him to be chucked on the scrap heap. 

Whether he can have any treatment depends on where this awful cancer started and also what type. Which hopefully we will find out in a few weeks. 

If you can call the ward your dad is on and ask to speak with the dr treating him they will hopefully call you back. It really does help if you know what you want to ask and have it all written down as its so easy to forget with something so emotional. 

Good luck I hope you get some answers. XX

Hi Ollie 

no news yet regarding him coming home has been moved onto the cancer ward last night after two weeks in a room. 
I feel like my mum is blocking certain info from me by not passing on my details. She's saying she has no contact number and she's received hardly any calls except last couple of days? 
I'm glad your mum and daughter attended the meeting I think you need a couple of people to be there to process the info and ask the relevant questions! My mum hasn't attended any meetings only listened in via the phone which is not really good enough tbh. 
I hope you are given the information you are all desperately seeking Ollie and I hope it isn't as bad as we feel in these unknown circumstances. It is the unknowing and lack of information being provided which is adding to an already stressful situation. No news is good news Ollie! Hoping and praying there are some treatment options available for your Dad. 
My Dad didn't have chemo today in the end again miscommunication! Apparently he is having a radiotherapy injection tomorrow instead. Have spent all day wondering how he's coping with chemo after chatting this morning with him. I just don't know what's happening it's constantly changing. 
Apparently a doctor is calling my mum this evening so I shall wait for her update but it always feels like I'm not getting the full info. My dad gave me his ward name and bed number I just don't want to be ringing around trying to find someone who knows who he is I just need clear communication. Obviously I'm grateful for all that they are doing for my dad but the psychological impact of being kept in the dark is taking its toll. I guess sometimes we can't have all the info we want upfront. I'm trying to go a day at a time like the McMillan nurse said but it's constantly on my mind xxxx 

It's a new normal Ollie and I don't like it one bit!