Hi Ollie,

So sorry to hear about your dad. I am going through the same thing with my mum. She was absolutely fine, still going to work and driving, shopping the usual things until I forced her to go to the GP after having a very bad headaches for approx 1 week. They thought it was a stroke until they found the brain tumour, which we was then told had spread from Lung cancer, this was in January.

Do you know if your dad has not been offered any treatment due to the severity or is it due to the COVID pandemic? 

My best advice....ask as many questions as you can, even if you think they may not be relevant, ask doctors nurses anybody medically trained but also make sure you have many discussions with your dad and keep him involved. I felt like I had to ask questions when mum wasn't in the same room or I would sneak off to another room to ring the district nurses. Also look after yourself and your mum, it's so easy to put all of yourself into looking after your dad but your health is just as important and that's one of the things I forgot to do.

If you ever need a chat please message me, I'm currently in the same situation as yourself as sometimes speaking to someone who knows what your going through but isn't in your "close circle" really helps

Sending my love to you and your family x

Hi Clare. 

Thank you so much for your reply. Hows your mum now, is she in hospital.?

My dad is in hospital still on the stroke ward. 

They called after the meeting yestetday and we had a list of questions. Basically they cant offer any treatment as they havent even comfirmed what type of cancer it is. They say they are 99. 5% sure it is but need to comfirm,also where it stsrted for sure.

They say again they are sure it started in the lung but dont want to do a lung biopsy as its to invasive. 

They have said they might take some cells from the liver but are having another meeting early next week. 

We cant see him due to covid so his all alone when he recieves any news. 

Its just such a nightmare. 

Thank you so much again and im here if you need to talk anytime. X

They had meeting with oncologists today. They are now saying they think it started in the pancreatias, which if this is the case they cant treat. If it did start in the lungs there are treatments for it. 

Liver biopsy in 2 weeks so we will hopefully find out where it stsrted. His home now which is great. 

Hi Ollie,

Just wanted to check in and see how you are? How's your dad? 

X

Hi Claire. 

My Dad is fine, came home from hospital last night. He is completely normal, been cooking and pottering around. My Daughter is staying with mum and dad she said he is completly normal and taking paracetamol if he gets back ache. The oncology dr said its cancer dr said its in his pancreatias liver lungs and brain. I cant see how that is even possible with 6 weeks left.

Hows your mum doing is she at home?How did they know where her cancer started? 

Thank you for replying its such a great help. X

That's fantastic news! I'm so glad your dad is back to his usual self, this must take so much pressure off yourself and your family also. The diagnosis is awful however and I send all of my love to you all.

Mum came out of hospital on Thursday evening and was taken to a residential home, unfortunatly by 10am the next morning she had a seziure which led to me receiving a very nasty phonecall from her, screaming and begging me to go and get her which unfortunately I couldn't. At 8pm the same night I received a phonecall from the on site nurse at the care home telling me mum had fallen and cut her face under her right eye and was being taken to the hospital, she's still in the hospital now and I am receiving 4/5 abusive and heartbreaking phonecalls everyday. 

I try to ignore the words she says and remember it's due to her illness and the brain tumours but it is so hard.

I'm due back to work tomorrow after taking a couple of weeks off and I'm also anxious about that but I'm sure I will get through it all x

How very sad and so quick. Im so shocked how quickly it takes a person. I do wish you all the best for yourself and mum at this dreadful time. 

The thing im struggling most with is not knowing where it started as if in lung they can offer treatment but not if in pancreatias. They done a blood test yesterday to see if anything showed up there but no results yet. The liver biopsy wont be for another 2 weeks, I dont understand why they are being so slow with such a dreadful diagnosis. 

Will be thinking of you and your mum. x

How awful. 

Was your mum offered any treatment?

They have said if the cancer is as bad as they think it means treatment wont work whether they start now or in 4 weeks. I dont agree with this as they are looking at immunotheraphy if it has started in the lung. 

They said the reason they think it may of started in the pancreatias is that tumor is bigger than the lung one. 

Ive no idea if they can tell from a blood test where it started or not. 

They only treatment my mum could have was Radiotherapy, she was only allowed one session to try and reduce the size of the tumours in her brain, which unfortunately didn't work and then they unfortunately found another which resulted in her having 3 in her brain and 2 in each lung. They mentioned immunotherapy but unfortunately after a blood test/biopsy they advised they couldn't go ahead with that. 

I do find it absolutely awful that you are having to wait so long, especially when there is a possibility that this could be treated. 

Mum's cancer started in the Lung but spread to her brain and I have no idea how they figured this out as they found the brain tumour before the lung cancer, it's all very confusing to me.