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Questions to ask Mum before she passes

Claire93
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Hello everyone,

My mum attended Christie's for a check up brain scan 10 days ago and has been kept in ever since.

The doctor has rang today and mentioned she's now showing signs of COVID from a routine X-ray they have done.

They have mentioned that they have discussed certain things with her today regarding if she deteriorated that much that she would need a ventilator etc and putting a DNR on her file 

I really want to ask her some questions whilst I still can to make sure I'm prepared to give her the best send off I am if the worst happens but my mind is completely blank. Can anybody please help incase I've forgotten something. Sorry I am panicking now.

 

Thank you everyone

 

  • Offline

    Hi there ...

    So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment,  esp hard with this carona ..

    As someone with cancer , l can only say my thoughts .. I'd say ... ask her , "say , mum is there anything you want to talk about , anything you want to say, it's o.k ... I'm listening"  give her the chance to say how or what she's thinking ... some want to talk about it , but are scared it may upset those they love talking about it ...

    I know how hard it is guessing ... when my mum passed, it was 3 of us girls, guessing what she'd want .. I'd have done things like her funeral so different , if I'd known.. but that was the first funeral we had to do .. so I've paid and organised my own ... because I don't want my son to go through that ...

    So I'd say ... just ask ... leave nothing unsaid... Chrissie x

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you for your response Chrissie. It's extremely hard at the moment especially when the only family we have got is eachother. I have never had to deal with anything as tough as this with me only being "young-ish" myself. Me and mum are the bestest of friends so I just want to make sure there isn't anything important I forget or miss due to the whole situation. 

    Thank you so much for your advice, sending my love to you and your family x

  • Offline in reply to Claire93

    I've just looked at your pic ... oh my no wonder your both so close, you look like sisters ... l was 36 when my mum passed , suddenly from a heart attack and I had no chance to even tell her I was so proud to be her daughter...  

    Life sure isn't fare .. I've read your mum has it in her brain too .. one thing to be ready in case it happens, but she MAY get a bit cross at times, or even to get things .. it can happen .. though I'm keeping everything crossed for her, she stays the same ... 

    I hope you get other reply from those here that may be able to help you more .. but to have a daughter like you, she must be one proud mum ... so hold on in there ... Chrissie x

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    We are extremely close, I have just turned 26 and mum has just turned 52 so we do act like sisters more than anything else.

    I am sure your mum knew how proud of her you was, you seem like a very lovely lady.

    Yes mum now has 3 tumours in her brain aswel as 2 in each of her lungs. I had noticed a change in her moods now and again and she was becoming angry at things she never used to or she would snap very easily but I knew it wasn't my mum it was the horrible illness. 

    Thank you Chrissie, I know how proud of me she is because she used to tell me every day. I'm just finding it extremely hard being at home on my own knowing she is stuck in there on her own also. X

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    Hello Claire ,

                        l am so sorry to hear your news.

                                                                             l would say just concentrate on being there for your mum and sharing your time together.Its this in the future that you will look back upon and give you comfort,not the thing you forgot to ask.You need each other now,just as you have during your lives spent together,make the most of that without worry in your mind,

                                                                      David

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