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Mum given months to live

Mummypud
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Hello all,

 

I have recently found out that my mum has lung cancer which has spread to her liver and they have given her months to live. I am completely distraught as she only went in after having a fall at home. My whole world has come crashing down and I dont know how to deal with it. I have recently given her a grandchild which she has been waiting so long for and has been the most incredible mother and grandmother through the whole thing. Shes only 66 and I feel broken, the idea of her not being here is  to watch her grow up is heartbreaking. My question is has anyone ever lived longer than the 6 months diagnosis with both lung and liver cancer? She currently remains in hospital but theyve sent a hospital bed to her home and are setting up carers to come in and help my dad for when shes allowed home, does this mean shes already close to the end? 

 

Thanks in advance, love to you all x 

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    Hello, I am sorry to hear your news.They didnt give het any treatment options?Yes she is not old like my mum she is 67.But I have a breast cancer spread to my lung and liver and i am on treatment since August 2019,beeing diagnosed May 2019 so its 1 year.They didnt give me any prognosis and i didnt ask but the treatment works and now have no tumor in liver and everything is shrinking still.

    You need to speak or she neeeds to speak if she can have any treatment or she doesnt wish any treatment.I know some people dont want the chemotherapy or did they say she is too frail to have treatment? Speak to her team definitely.

    Take care

    Denise

     

  • Offline in reply to Denise1977

    Thank you Denise for your reply. They have said there isnt much point in doing chemo as they dont think it will achieve anything at this point. I just feel so lost and dont know what to do. Good luck with your journey, I hope things continue to shrink. 

     

    Take care x 

  • Offline in reply to Mummypud

    Hi, My Mum died from primary lung cancer that matasticed into her spine and adrenal glands.  She was given 18 months to live.  Yes, she was given drugs to help slow down the tumour spreading and she did not really want to do chemo and radio and it made her so sick so we concentrated on making not every day count but every second.  And it was almost 18 months to the day!  I am not going to lie to you because it was a hard journey until the end.  I looked after my Mum, bed bathing, turning her in the bed, changing her dressings and helping her to the toilet and washing her in the shower.  Basically everything she did privately, I then had to do for her.   It was tough and there were days I cried in private to cope with it all.  She was so embarrassed by it all but I said to her that it was just me and you Mum in the shower and no-one else and that I would be there for her no matter what.  We always said that we would wash as far up as possibe, as far down as possibe...and then wash possible!  The last thing my Mum heard was me telling her that I was so proud of her, that I loved her and thanked her for being there for me and bringing me into this world.  It will be 4 years in October this year for me when she passed and it will never go away but I have learned  to cope with it.  The thing here Mummypud is that your Mum would not want you to be despairing and unhappy.  Yes, it is natural to be that way and you will struggle at times but you have a child that relies on you too and focus all your energy and all your love into bringing him/her up as that is exactly what your Mum would want you to do.  One last thing I will say to you is to please seek help in the form of someone to talk to.  It really does help.  

    Take each day as it comes but remember this.....make all the time count and I really mean that. 

    Sending you a BIG Virtual ((((HUG)))))).  Xx

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    Hi, 

    im sorry I don't have information about how long it will be or treatments, but I lost my dad on Friday to cancer. We only knew for 2 and 1/2 weeks that he was terminal. He had stage 4 cancer, started in his kidney and spread to hip, lung, stomach and finally gallbladder in March. He lived for 6 years with his cancer. He overcame the odds for it all, but he didn't want to fight any more. He didn't give in, he won. He never let his cancer stop him enjoying life, he did everything he wanted. No bucket list, but if he want to do/buy something he did! 
     

    I am in ore of his strength and determination for fight until the end. It was a scary to think of life without him. I'm 24 and still living at home, so much of my life he hasn't yet seen. I made some promises to him in the final days. To tell everybody I ever met about him, I won't ever forget him. 
     

    Many people advised me that I should tell him how much I love him and kiss him etc, but that wasn't him and I didn't want to treat him differently. We spent time just laughing and reminiscing. 
     

    one thing I did learn, is to never try and second guess human beings, because we have no idea what we are capable of until it happens. I find this hard, as I want time scales and information. But it's not always possible. I kept asking nurses 'how long?' But you know when it's coming. 
     

    after all of this waffle, the only advise I can give is enjoy your mum and love her lots, in whichever way is right for you. What will be will be. No regrets lots of love to you xx

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