Hello

The first thing I'll say is that I am so sorry to hear of your circumstance and I have been there abeilt not with Coronavirus on top.

Ill say that you can cry all you want in time. But for now do everything you can to hold those feelings back. With my mum we remained positive and withheld the truth. I'll be honest nothing much changed until she was told by a nurse the end was is sight. Then she died very quickly.

Read up everything you can about palliative care and the dying process. Ask and challenge the medics if you have to. The big decision here is about you making a big adjustment so you care for her as a family. Make it possible for her to live her last months with you. We di,  it wasn't ideal, we were exhausted with it all but now she has gone we feel comforted that we did our best in the most difficult curcumstances.

love and light my friend

Kerry

Hi Logduin,

Sorry to hear about your mum. This is my first post as I feel I can relate to this. My dad got a shock advanced cancer diagnosis about 2 weeks ago. We knew he was unwell but this was the last thing we were expecting to hear. He is being offered palliative treatment only, so is due to start chemotherapy in a couple of weeks time but this will be at a reduced level to lower risks associated with contracting Coronavirus. I’m sorry your mum has had to go through this illness too.

Im not coping well at all and experiencing similar emotions to you. I feel a deep sadness, despair and hopelessness whilst trying to be strong and hold onto some hope but my dad seems to be deteriorating in front of my eyes and I’m not sure if he’ll be fit for any treatment. I’ve been crying most days and feel like I’m going to end up ill myself. 

I’m interested in following your post for any advice as well. I’m so new to this, I don’t think I can provide advice yet. I’ve downloaded the calm app but can’t concentrate for long enough at the minute to use it.

Take care, you’re not alone in this xxx

Hi there .. all I can say  is my thoughts ..

I phoned my mum one Monday morning about her comming to mine the next day... at 5.20 that same day, she had a masive heart attack  ... she was gone .. what id have given for one more day or even one hour... so id say to you, live in the day, and take each day as a gift that you can tell her how much you love her .. id have said to my mum im so proud to have had you for my mum ... but i think she knows ...

So this is the second hardest thing we go through in life .. but don't waste this time ..sending a sign to your dad, saying hi .. sending you  a vertual hug .. Chrissie ..xx

P.s I went to my sister's funeral yesterday... only 10 allowed .. I was number 11 .. the doors closed and 5 of us left outside .. and my granddaughter is in a London hospital on her second round of chemo.. no visitors allowed till Monday then just one parent .. so I know how hard this time is, and know your not alone ..  x

I am so sorry. I just went through this for 18 months as my best friend was dying and the anticipatory grief was terrible. The coping mechanism I found most helpful was coming across this simple phrase: don't skip to the end. Every time I was overwhelmed with grief, anxiety and fear, I repeated that to myself and tried to live in the moment, appreciate my friend as she was now rather than worrying about the future and take one day at a time. It really did help me. Best wishes as you go through this awful time.  

Hello, my name is Claire, i'm 37 and my mum is 64. She is on her 3rd time with breast cancer and cannot do a lot as she struggles with breathing. 

I'm suspicious that mum has been given a certain amount of time to live and they won't tell me until after xmas.

I know it's painful but could you tell me what's happened with your mum?

x

Hello, I'm so sorry to read this i don't know what to say x I am honestly lost for words and not helpful at all! only sad for you and your family x You are in my thoughts x

xxx

please could you give me some advice... i'm sorry for your pain this is new to me x