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My Dad has not long to live. He wants us to visit but worrie

Helstar
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Hi my dad was diagnosed with Liver Cancer just a few days ago . They can't do anything more for him. He will not have much time and he has now gone home . He has asked for us all to go see him tomorrow. With CVD19 . It means we either go and fulfill his wishes or go and put my mum in a ricsky position . She is 71 he is 75. I believe he has a couple of weeks at the most.

I feel in an impossible position. We only found out his diagnosis on Thursday and not visited him as hospital were only letting in partners.

If I don't go I may never see him again and he won't she me.

Thanks for reading . 

I want to go with my family but is that being selfish 

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    Hi there ..

    This is only my opinion .. but if I were in that position,  I'd get as much protection as I could .. and I'd go myself .. tell mum to stay a bit away from you so you can talk but not close .. and I'd see him before he goes .. you could still wear plastic thin gloves ... and then you could hold his hand .. and if you could find face mask , I'm sure a medical person would give you one if you explain .. 

    Or try and get face time on someone's pad, and do a vertual meet with him, where he could talk and see his grandkids ... with no risk.. I'm sure a charity like Marie Currie could set it up under these times ...

    It's just finding middle ground around it ... good luck .. let us know how you go .. Chrissie...

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    Hi Helstar,

    I'm in a similar situation. My dad is terminally ill and I want to be with him and support him and my mum as much as possible, but now I don't know what to do. I decided to visit today and we sat in the garden apart and washed our hands, surfaces etc. I feel completely paranoid about it now, over thinking whether I did enough, but the reality is how would I feel if the worst was to happen? I think contact with a terminally ill parent is essential. We're in an impossible situation. 

    X

  • Offline in reply to Anne85

    I'm sorry to hear of your situation Anne85 it is a Knightmare  to know what to do. I have conflicting info on the time he has left and he wants me to come tomorrow with my kids so we can all be together.

    It would be hard enough at normal times but I can't believe it is happening. 

    Take care at this time x

  • Offline in reply to Helstar

    I am in the same situation. My mum lives 60 miles away and has terminal lung cancer having no treatment.  I am in such a state as Boris just locked down. How can I get to see her.  No one is giving government guidelines for terminal ill people. Mum knows she hasn't long. What do I do.

  • Offline in reply to Cox123

    I lost my mum to lung/liver/pancreatic cancer a month ago, nothing would have stopped me seeing and looking after mum. My mum was given 6 months with no treatment, 8 months with. She lasted 6 months the doctors were spot on. Cherish the time you have. My heart goes out to everyone who finds themselves in this situation losing a loved one is heartbreaking. 

  • Offline in reply to Cox123

    Hi Cox123

    Im so sorry to hear of your situation.

    Iam at my Parents today and still here. I'm glad i did as my Dad is worse than I thought. I have just herd what Borris has said .Me and my family are now altogether. I wish you all the best its an impossible situation to be in and like you say there is no guidance.

    Sending hugs to you at this difficult time

     

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