This is the first time I’ve posted and I’m not sure what I’m expecting - I think I’m just looking for support and any wisdom from people who have been through something similar or just a chance to tell what feels like a pretty crazy story. 

My mum had breast cancer when I was a child but it went into remission after surgery, radiotherapy and chemo.

My dad was then diagnosed with pancreatic cancer five years ago and died the following year after a lot of chemo.

What I still struggle to believe is that, while my dad was going through treatment, my Mum was told her cancer had come back and it was terminal. 

That was 4 years ago now, in which time my mums been on many different pills and has largely stayed out of hospital. We’ve managed to regain a sense of normalcy after the painful loss of my dad and shock of them both being diagnosed with terminal cancer within a year. 

I recently found out that my mum is starting chemo, which has made her condition and the prospect of caring for her and losing her relatively soon more real - I don’t know much about why she’s starting chemo now but my sense is that things must have taken a turn for the worse. I’d of course welcome any views to the contrary!

Having seen what my dad went through on chemo and experiencing the shock and grief that came with his death I’m terrified to go through it again- it was just so much worse than I could have imagined.

I don’t know how I’ll cope with having no parents - my Mum made everything that bit better when my dad died and it’s so scary to have to go through that again with no parental support and face a life without either of them. My mum was also the one that looked after my dad (with mine and my brothers help) and now I’m scared of having to do that just the two of us. 

I’ve only just turned 30. 

A cure for all cancer would be much appreciated. Failing that, any words of wisdom/support would be great.