Hi beach45, I am so sorry about your Mum. I am not a professional , I can only speak of my own experience. You were with your Mum for her final moments while you held her hand, that is such a priviledge that not everyone gets this oppertunity. It is a very profound experience to be with our loved ones as they take their final breaths, nothing you read or hear can.prepare you for the emotions and feelings that follow. You are heartbroken and that shows that your Mum was loved deeply. In time you will find the next part of your own.journey will become easier knowing you were holding your Mums hand and you were there by her side. I found reading up on general infornation on end of life helped me to process this profound experience, take care of yourself along the journey. X

Hey,

I totally get you, I've been asking myself the same thing. Someone told me recently that when someone nears death, they experience "relief" and they believe that although the brain may technically be active, they will be so detached that such things like crying, chatting, may not compute or affect their emotions. I hope that's true, that's comforting. 

My best friend was just moved to a hospice, and I've never lost anyone before, so the thought of her going through death alone scared the *** out of me. Not anymore though. I believe that when the time comes, a person is physically and mentally able to let go, and the beginning of the aftermath they leave behind them isn't a thing. That's for those left behind to deal with. I believe they have calm. 

I really hope so, and trust the body...its natural defenses and all that a human body can do is amazing. If we are cold we shiver to keep warm, If hot we sweat. If we are scared, adrenaline kicks in to help up fight or flight. I believe theres a similar process when we face death. Our bodies are amazing.

I hope this helps you. Xx

Hello cookiebun, for the first time in 15 months since my darling husband died,someone has made me feel better. Thank you. 
I was with Steve as he drew his last three breaths. I will never forget the experience and whilst it is a trauma for those of us who are left it is also a blessing to know he is no longer suffering. but I have always wondered and worried whether or not he knew and was scared. I don't think I need to anymore, I think you have answered the question.....bless you xx

I'm so glad I posted this as I wasn't sure wether to. And I'm so glad it's helped another person too. Horrible thoughts that run through your head and if they suffered what they experienced, it's awful. But this has really helped me to think of it in a different way.  Thank you so much. 

Can I just send you a ((hug)).  Xx

Hello SusanRuth, 

I really appreciate your lovely message, thank you, and I truly hope you are okay. My friend is struggling, and especially with the thought of leaving her teenage daughter behind. She is planning her 18th and 21st gifts to leave with family to give her when those birthdays arrive. My heart breaks everytime I see her and how much more tired she is becoming. 

Its unknown how long she will be with us, but I believe when the time comes she will be at peace and without pain. Her essence will float away softly, knowing that those of us here will take care of business and of one another.

Stay strong lovely lady xxxx

Big hugs to you, and thank you so much for posting too. Connecting with you guys has helped me put in to words what I feel about my friend and this has been a much needed chat.

Thank you xx

Thank you for the messages. Much comfort in getting them.  It does help to get the words and thoughts out in the open. They can become too powerful if they stay in your head for too long.