Hello

So very sorry to hear about your mum. Its a terrible shock to receive this kind of news .my sister also has it and she also, up to about a week ago, was able to walk and potter about the house. But now, is bed ridden and not able to do anythng.she initially hadvbreast cancer, but jow has skin cancer , tumers all over her back ,neck and her eye and in her brain.Her liver isn't working and she has acities ie where fluid fulls her tummy.  so she can not turn and has to lie on her back continously. She can not even be turned over as the fluid moves and presses on her lungs which effects her breathing.she decided to go on a srynge drive to help with the serve pain,nausea and vomiting.this has helped immensely.she is now comfortable and with this pain management. Like you ,because she is fully alert mentally, (though we have hours of quiteness )nevertheless,she  is physically deteriorating before my very eyes.Her food and fluid intake is minimal.its a very emotional time as  she is my twin and its heart breaking to see. But I am taking full care of her at home.the nights are the worst time. You will get an inner strength as I have. My deepests thoughts and prayers are with you and your lovely mum.

I'm so sorry to hear about you're sister, its soul destroying watching them go through this and not being able to take it away!!!

My mum was given weeks to early months to live. I'm so confused it's a rollercoaster of emotions 1day she looks like shes dying and 1day she looks like the healthy woman we knew.

I have become her carer shes bening set home today I'm so nervous it's what she wants it's where she wants to be I just hope I am strong enough to help her in her final days I have been strong enough upto this point for her, physically and emotionally. I really hope she gets the pain under control so she can be comfortable as long as possible.

Like you're sister my mum also has the drive. She still needs more pain relief in between also 

I hope they both get to feel more comfortable and relaxed soon

I'm sending all my thoughts and prayers to you and you're sister and you're family. Stay strong xxx

She has other health issues including COPD it's also spread to her lymph nodes and her groin and now theres spotting on her left lung too

Hi

Yes it certainly is a roller coaster. However, im so glad my sister decided to give the srynge drivec a go. It has helped enormously.

When she isn't  sleeping or rather resting, we have great chats and  express our love for one another. I love these times with her when  she is her  usual , strong but gentle self. 

The last two days she has been in what we call the resting place. Where she just doesn't have the energy to talk. Because of the breathlessness due to the acities. But who knows what tomorrow will bring. 

It may be the same with your mum. Chatting one day and quiet the next. We have hospice at home so the nurse's come daily and it's such a wonderful service that they give to my sister. They are marvellous. Nothing is too much trouble. It gives me such reassurance. Its just one hour a day and we have phone numbers if and when we need them.

She has they say days and that's what's emotionally draining, the not knowing and going through what appears to be the longest time . the lnights and the morning.

We do laugh though because she said to me the other night, go up to bed get some rest take your eye off me ,if it's my time it's my time!

A friend said to me she greived whilst she cared for her parents and I now fully understand what she ment. Dome days I think I'm going to be OK then the next day I just break down in tears. And my sister says, better  out then in and we laugh. We have talked about it and so we are both fully aware of where she is .though who can control this kind of emotion. Its deep and yet healthy. I believe crying is a God given emotion to be fully expressed. For me anyway. 

I do hope things are a little easier for you and your mum. Talk about it together. It's not easy i know but for us it was thevonly way so we could move foreard. A kind of letting go and trying to enjoy each snd every precious moment. 

It's a strange, difficult and emotional time and yet it can be  a wonderful opportunity to be come even closer. After all isn't true love all about letting go. This I had to go through, and now have accepted the reality of our situation.

I will be thinking and praying for  both of you ..for strength, peace and comfort . use this site to express and air your feelings as so many of us have.bits a great source of support. Bless you .