Hi,

First time posting to the forum but I have been lurking in the background since my dad was diagnosed in April 2019 with small cell lung cancer. It started with chest pain and we intintially thought he was having a heart attack after several hours in A&E and a mri and ct scan later we were given the devastating news and it had spread outside the lung to the chest cavity so was deemed terminal. My dad decided to take the chemotherapy and sailed through it like a trooper. After a scan we was told chemotherapy had significantly shrunk the tumour and now it was a watch and wait game. That was beginning of September. 

My dad was doing fine, he lives on his own and is fiercely independent and loves to travel to different places on the bus. I met him for breakfast on Tuesday 8th December, little did I know that would be the last time I had a proper conversation with him. On the 13th December I was making my way to his house as I couldn't get hold of him on the phone and I was worried. I walked in and it's like my dad had dementia over night, he couldn't walk properly, he couldn't talk properly and was in utter state of confusion. He couldn't even open his door and it took me half an hour to get him to understand to pass his house keys through the letterbox so I could let myself in. After calling for an ambulance and arriving at hospital we found out he has multiple brain mets widespread through out his brain. The doctor said he counted at least 6 or 7. And that is where he is now on a ward dying slowly of this horrendous cruel disease. 

Im not writing this for sympathy, in fact I'm not sure why I have decided to post. I just know I'm finding it incredibly hard to get my head around I will be losing my dad soon and it just doesn't seem real. I hate seeing him like he is, he is emotional all the time then getting aggressive and doesn't even know he is in hospital. My dad is a strong clever man so seeing him reduced to this is agony. Is there anyone else who has experienced small cell cancer to the brain and how long it took for their loved one to succumb to it? I really don't want my dad to suffer like this but at the same time I don't want him to die either. 
 

This has been such a crazy journey of emotions, I didn't realise what the doctor meant when he said you are all on a journey together now, but I certainly do now. 
 

Becky