Hi, I feel your pain. Although for us it's come very suddenly. Mums not been able to eat or drink for about 4 weeks, been in hospital for 2/3 weeks, where she contracted pneumonia, and was moved to a hospice on Friday. Last week we were told she had stomach cancer, but we thought she'd get a stent fitted, get well enough for chemo and an op, but Friday the Dr at the hospice told us mum had been told that it was untreatable really. And she chose that day to give up all treatment and go to the hospice. She had been trying to explain to me that they couldn't do something or other, but I thought she meant they still didn't know the cause of the fluid on her lungs. That never even got tested in the end!  I don't think she will last the week. It's all been a huge shock and so fast. She's been my BFF for many many years. I can't imagine my life without her or who I will turn to. My Sister and I are no longer that close, and my dad is losing his memory, I've no idea how he will cope. My poor daughter is beside herself as Grandma is her second closest  person after me, who understands her. She has Autism and ADHD, so although she's 12, she's emotionally much younger. I'm not ready to be this grown up to deal with it all, and I'm 53! Why is life so difficult? I'm so grateful to have had such an amazing mum for 53 years, I could not have imagined a better one, but I still feel like I'm 6 and I need her to kiss it all better still. 
sorry, just rambling now as I can't sleep. 
A x

Hi Annapops and mum2mum,

I can't really put into words how heartbreaking it is to see our mums / parents  endure this. Similar experience to both of you . Mum has oesophageal with liver and lymph Mets.  She was diagnosed in August . Palliative chemo didn't help and the cancer progressed. In the last week she has deteriorated every day. I last saw her on Tuesday as I live 3hours away . She had a lovely steak dinner as that's what she wanted . She is now sleeping ++ ,  urinating once or twice , not able to communicate clearly, not eating. Still haven't come to terms with her having  cancer let alone where we are at now . This forum has helped hugely to know we are not alone x sending strength to both of you xx

Thank you so so much for your reply. I'm truly sorry to hear about your mum. 

My son is 14 and has aspergers. My mum has been like a second mum to him and I've no idea how he will cope, never mind me.

This evening she whispered to me that she won't be here tomorrow

Sending you a hug xx

Pepperplant

Thank you so much for your reply. I too have found these forums a massive support. Although friends have been amazing, no one can really understand what you are going through unless they've been there.

Sending you a hug xx

Using the words of others, I feel your pain.

Tell them all how much you love them. 

Give them both big hugs. I am sure you do that anyway.

Say to mother all you may have wished to say but never did.  

I am sure it does not feel that way but some have so much to say but did not have the chance to do so. Perhaps if posible look through a few selected family photos if they have the strength. Play some of mothers favourte music, while they may not have much strength, they may still be ble to listen.

Hold mothers hand tell her you love her.  Don't forhet to do the same for father.

God bless

Deepest condolences.

It is difficult for all left behind,at least she is free from pain and suffering of her illness.

It is now up to us remaining pick up the pieces. We can retain the bautiful memories that we have of our loved ones. We are after all on that conveyor belt life.

Wishing you well and God be with you and your family.