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Mum dying and I am completely alone

Lonelygirl103
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This is the first time I have posted on this forum. 

I am so stressed and sad and I cannot sleep. 

I am 25 and Mum was diagnosed with cancer 6 years ago. The last 6 years have been hell and I have devoted all of the spare time in my life to looking after her and making her happy , despite having a stressful full time job alongside studying. 

The doctors told us a couple of months ago there is nothing more they can do and it won’t be long. Mum is deteriorating before my eyes and I just can’t cope. 

I have no one to call, no one to be there for me, no one to support me. I don’t have one friend or one family member. My mum is my only family and friend. There is no one else.  It makes me so upset to read other forums when people say they only have their children/husband/best friend/sibling etc when I have literally no-one. I’ve devoted the last 6 years to my mum and I have tried my very best to make friends but I’ve found people don’t stick around when they hear about mum. 

I just feel so alone and Mum is so so so upset as she doesn’t want to leave me and I just don’t know how to cope with it all. I do see a therapist weekly which helps a bit but she can’t magic up friends and a family for me.

I guess I’m just posting here as I need an outlet for my emotions. 

Has anyone else experienced anything like this i.e. literally having no one to support you?

 

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    My dad has cancer and i have a sistet we are not close the main focus is making sure dad is ok i just go home and cry most times i dont even no why take care x

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    Hello 

    I have recently lost my beautiful mum to this awful disease last week  and want to just say to you that your message I here really made me feel so sad . Cancer is an awful disease and it literally doesn't care who it takes . My lovely mum / my best friend was so young when she passed away and I feel so robbed and heartbroken. 
    Please look after yourself and be brave for your mum as that's what she will want you to do . Big hugs xx 

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    Hi there, 

     

    it is incredibly difficult and I can speak from personal experience on this - I don't think there is any right way to deal with it but the feeling of loneliness is almost over bearing at times. 
     

    i worked alongside my dad from when I left school - without sounding dramatic he literally  taught me everything I know....after his first daiagnosis it was an initial shock of me being on my own in business as well as a personal loss - we slogged along for a few years until his condition has started to deteriaite and those same feelings are creepeing back to me. It's weird but somehow this time we have an inner strength that I never thought i possessed. It still is really hard but you have to plod on as it will get better - I don't think we will ever get over the loss however you will get used to it in time. 

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    Hey !

     

    it's an awful feeling. I'm older at 33 but have the same with my father ( who's my superman )

     

    it's incredibly tough , I know the heartbreak you feel everyday and especially with the current times you aren't able to enjoy the best times with them while you have them with you

     

    i have family around it am bit close to them so the only way I have been able to cope is to talk to friends ( which I find very hard ) but what has actually helped me the most is to go through counseling 

     

    it may sound silly that a random person on the end of a phone cal help , but when it's a counseller you can be illogical with feelings ( they aren't illogical but sometime you feel like they are ) you ca be angry you can shout scream and talk through all emotions without feeling any judgement in any way

     

    I'm sending you all the love and a reminder , you don't always have to be strong xx

     

    be strong for your mum but you can break down and be sad , because it's an awful Time

     

    xx all the best

     

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Brenamssz

    Hi all

    Thank you for your messages reviving this thread. Can't believe almost a year has passed since I started it. 
    You've asked how I am doing, that is very kind. 
    Mum sadly passed away on Christmas Eve 2019 and it has been incredibly hard since then and I feel very alone every day. Coronavirus has not helped the grieving process as I have felt shut away from the world - I've been WFH since March which initially helped but now I feel so isolated. 
    I'm only 26 and feel I've learnt a hard lesson early in life that life is dreadful and I just don't see it getting any better to be honest. I wish I had a family (either part of a family or a family of my own) but I don't and that's incredibly hard and to be honest I'm dreading the upcoming Christmas period - because it will be 1 year but also I have no where to go for Christmas :(
    I have had lots of counselling which has helped but ultimately doesn't change the fact I am alone in life and very isolated during this pandemic. 
    Having no friends is also isolating and pretty much the only people I see are those at the supermarket :( It's so incredibly sad. 
    I am, however, hopeful that my life won't always be this bad and perhaps something positive will happen to me at some point. I hope sooner rather than later, as I feel I've been dealt a really tough hand and fortunes wheel hasn't turned in my favour yet! 
    Thanks so much for checking in. 
    All the best. 

  • Offline in reply to Lonelygirl103

    [@Lonelygirl103]‍ 

     

    I'm so touched by reading your post.

     

    Do you have any colleagues at work that can support you or any groups that you can be a part of locally?

     

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Lonelygirl103

    hi there x

    i have just read your full post from start to end, im so so sorry your having to go through all this alone! i cant even imagine to understand how you feel but please message me and maybe we can be friends? sorry to hear about your mum, she will be so very very proud of you xx

  • Offline in reply to Lonelygirl103

    Hi lonelygirl

    I'm so extremely sorry for everything you've been through, life has dealt you a tough hand. Sometime in the future when you look back you will realise that this shaped you as a person and you will become an incredibly strong young woman. Reading your posts I can feel how lonely you are, this must be so difficult for you, not having anyone there to help you, to talk to, to vent to.

    I'm Emma I'm 33 and I'm always here if you ever want to talk, to vent, need some help, anything. You sound like you really could do with a friend right now and I'm happy to step in and help in anyway that I can. I mean this from the bottom of my heart . 

  • Offline in reply to Lonelygirl103

    I have read through this thread and it's really touched me. If you ever need anyone to talk to, a new friend then please just send me a message. I have a lot of love in my heart and you need some good people in your life after all you have been through. 
     

    take care of yourself and maybe speak soon x

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