My mum is dying

My poor 61yr old mother has only just been diagnosed with a brain tumour thst seems to have only come on over the last 4 to 6wks, with symptoms becoming severe over the last 2wks. Surgeons decided to take her for a biopsy with the possibility of debunking as much as possible. Unfortunately my mum had a massive bleed and had to be heavily sedated, she still didn't wake up and the doctors said it's terminal and the extent of damage is too severe. They took mum off the ventilator 28hrs ago and she is still breathing on her own and hasn't changed as yet, we were told she wouldn't breathe or her heart will stop once the bleed stops her brain stem functioning. I'm so confused now she is reacting mildy to stimuli but they said she still won't recover. I don't know how to think or feel as it's all happened so fast, I don't know how long I can bear to know she's dying but no one can say when. Has anyone any advice or similar experience.

  • Hello Chez82

    I was so sorry to read your post. I just wanted to let you know that our thoughts are with you at this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

  • I'm so sorry to hear about you and your mother's situation. She is young! Know that no one can give you a sure timeframe as it is God's hands. I assure you that he will take her before she suffers immensely. Your mother can still hear you so leave nothing unsaid. Tell her how much you love her and how she was the best mother, and assure her that she can "let go" and everyone will be okay (even if you don't mean it). I did the same with my dad because I wanted him to go in peace. I also never cried infront of him because I wanted him to believe that I was okay. Pray for your mom (out loud so that she can hear you). Hold her hand and caress her hair/ head. If possible, play her favorite songs or some peaceful music through your phone. Pray for your own strength as well. I hope that you are not alone in the hospital, and that you have family and friends there to support you. All the best to you and your family. 

  • I'm so very sorry to hear your news. It's a horrendous situation, All I can say is be there and tell her everything you have not said to her, I'm sure she will be able to hear you. I was with my Dad to the end and said what I needed to say, it will be the hardest thing you will ever do but be there, I said my goodbyes when the time was near.

    sending my love and support 

    Sarah