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It’s terminal- and I don’t know what to do.

Enicnarf
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I'm not sure what to write.. 

Im 26 years old and I got told 3 Days ago my Dad has stage 4 lung cancer (primary). This has also spread to him lymph system and bones. The diagnoses has come as complete shock as we were told he just had a chest infection, after further tests and discussions the news came. He's lived with COPD for years so people kept putting it down to that but no one tested for cancer markers. 

We are in the process of waiting to see if any treatment is available to make him more comfortable - if he even decides to go thought with it but the outlook isn't great and has an estimated time of 2-4 months. 

Honestly I don't really know what to say on here I guess I'm reaching out to all of you for any advise you can give. 

Cancer and even death is a new expirence to me and I'm not sure how to help him. 

I just want to do best by him. So please help!! any body who has been though this - family members or people who have had cancer themselves. Please can you help and offer any advice I’d be forever grateful. 

Seeing the strong man I’ve known all my life breaking down is a real life lesson. 

I respect and hope the best for everyone who has been and is going through this process with me. 

Best wishes, Franc.

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    Hi there ..

    So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... it's one of the hardest thing we go through in life .. 

    I can only tell you my story .. my amazing kind funny mum, called me one Monday morning ... about comming up mine the next day .. last thing she said was "see ya tomorrow love ..."   well got a call that afternoon, my niece said someone had collapsed down town , could be mum .. I knew it was .. I'd felt sick all day.. a weird feeling I couldn't understand .. I knew I'd loose her that day ..  got to the hospital too late .. she'd had a massive heart attack.at 5.20 she'd gone ..no chance to even say those things like I was so proud to be her daughter.. and say thank you to her .. or hug her one more time .. gone in the blink of an eye...

    You have the chance I never had... you can walk this last journey holding his hand  ... leave nothing unsaid ... share tears and hugs and it's o.k to admit your all scared .. on good days, ask him about his life .. bet there's loads you don't know .. a drive out .. a coffee in a shop .. look through albums... ask him if there's something he still wants to do .. or see .. 

    You can stop the world now, and think of tomorrow... or you can take every day as a bonus .. what I'd give for just one day or even one hour .. live in the day .. make memories to last a lifetime .. even just sitting holding his hand .. or watching a film together .. don't let a day go by ... and if he gets to xmas .. don't feel overwhelmed... just make it the best one ever .. 

    Now I'm on my cancer journey... and I'm doing the same as I'm telling you .. making each day count .. long or short , I'll fill each one with love and laughter .. 

    Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie x 

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    Hi Hun. I am in the same position as you. 

    I’m new to this group but I feel it’s my duty to be there for my beautiful mum who got diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer Thursday. Complete shock too as they had been treating her for a duodenal ulcer ;( 

     

    i think we just have to be there for them, talk, listen, ask questions, cry, laugh, and most importantly never give up hope. 

     

    Im frantically searching for information on this as I have never dealt with this before either. 

     

    Its so nice to have a community of people to talk too, I feel very lucky to have a very supportive family, but it’s the lonely last 2 nights I struggle with where my brain won’t switch off. I’m trying to be strong for my 3 children but it’s hard. 

     

    Please keep me posted on your dads story and I wish you the best, keep strong and know that there’s people out there ( even strangers, like me!) who will listen and be there when you need a rant. 

     

    Lots of love, 

    gracie xx 

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