Hi Charlotte

I am so sorry to hear about your Nan and the suddenness of her diagnosis and deterioration. No wonder you are struggling . It is a terrible shock. I think cancer can be like that either fairly symptomless or with symptoms that can be diagnosed as something minor, then by the time the cancer is found it has spread, there’s nothing they can do and the person you love has weeks to live at the most.

My Dad passed away last night. We had six weeks from diagnosis to him passing away. He didn’t want to know how long he had got so we didn’t ask. We certainly didn’t expect the time to be quite so short or to lose him so suddenly. I can’t make this any better for you, but what I tried to do which helped a bit was to spend as much time as possible with my Dad and to make that time pleasant..even just watching tv together. I told him how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him. I also tried to give him the opportunity to talk to me about how he was feeling and anything he was worried about. You wrote so movingly about your feelings for your NaN. Maybe you should share those feelings with her? The same applies to your Grandad. You can’t fix anyone’s pain, just let them know you love them and do what you can to support them.

Now I have lost him I am consoling myself with the thought that my Dad lived at home independently right up to the last week of his life when he went into hospital. Had he got home it would have been all Carers and commodes and the life of a sick person. He would have hated that. To know he was terminally ill earlier would have hung over him like a dark cloud and ruined the time he had left in this world so a late diagnosis was in some ways a blessing. 

I am so sorry you are going through this. All of your feelings are normal, but the roller coaster of emotions will calm down in time. I am wishing you the strength to face the coming days. Hang in there and love your NaN as much as you can in the time you have left.

xxx

Hi there Charlotte...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... it's one of the hardest things we will ever go through ...  but it is a part of life ... we all have to tread that path .. 

I think your taking on everyone's pain ... you can't do that, no one can .. we all need to feel those emotions... it's part of being blessed with someone spiecial in our lives ... if we didn't love so deeply it wouldn't hurt so much .. but those memories you have .. keep them in your heart ..

Try not to feel angry .. that festers ... just do what your doing ... hold her hand and help her on this last journey she's treading .. my mum died suddenly from a heart attack and had no chance to even say those things like I was so proud to be her daughter... I talked on the phone one Monday morning and at 5.20 that afternoon she was gone .. I was 36 ... my boys adored her .. they'd lost their best buddy .. but you have that time l never had ... what I'd give for just one day or even an hour ...

Now I'm a nanny and I have cancer .. and my amazing granddaughter (in pic)  is my life .. and yes I'm so scared of leaving her .. she's only 7 .. so l know how close you can be ... but please take care of you .. it's o.k to share tears .. it's o.k to feel scared .. but know, you won't loose her, you just keep her tucked up in your heart safely .. you know my son's still put pictures of her on their face book even now 30 years on .. she just came along with us ...   Chrissie x

Hi Charlotte

so sorry for what you are going through. I'm going through want seems to be exactly the same. I found out last night my nanny has secondary liver cancer as it's spread from somewhere else and she is too poorly for us to find out where it's come from as they would have to operate and she would be too weak. (She's been unwell for years generally).

we have been told weeks - months she has left but we have no idea how long that actually is :( xxx

Hey I'm so sorry . 
 

So we lost our Nanny almost a week ago . 
It was bad news after bad news . She was taken in 2 weeks Friday for further testing and to see what treatment would be available . But unfortunately the liver was to deseased . And we were told months possible weeks . By Thursday she had a very bad morning with chest pain . So they got her in for an emergency CT scan . The family were called in for 2 pm ? Had us all thinking "why" ? 
to be told the cancer was all over the lungs and that she had weeks ! ! The consultants and nurses were fantastic my Nan took it like a true worrier ! Her bravely my goodness I'd be in a state . They didn't say how long but I think she knew . But my Nan was very confused by this point So I'm not sure if it was going In ? 
by now the palliative team were in planning her move to holm towers in Penarth . A Marie Curie hospice . by now my Nan was in a state of panic(luckily I didn't see my Nan this was but my mum reassured her with " you will be much comfortable there and the doctors and nurses will give you the best care and make you very comfortable and then we will discuss further plans of treatment " this seemed to work until she was to be moved into an ambulance . Well she was in a right panic eventually they sadated her . And Nanny was a lot calmer . This was Thursday afternoon.  
all my family stayed with her and I visited in the evening around 8 and she was still in a deep sleep . God it hit me seeing her so vulnerable and almost lifeless . I cried so hard but tried to cry quietly to myself . I held her hand as I just didn't have the words . Before I left I kissed her head and told her I loved her very much and the children love her too . 
I went in early Friday morning to be told she wouldn't wake again but she was comfortable. All the family were called in . We spent the whole day with her friends and family visited and I no she was pleased you could just see her body would lift when spoken to . We all knew it would be very soon before she passed . Me and my sister sat with her and reminisced about all the wounderful things we did with her as children and we played music that she loved . I'm sure if she could she'd give us a clip for playing it to loudly.we said our goodbyes and held and cuddled her for as long as we could . My mum decided to stay from this point . And I'm so pleased she did . At 2am she passed with her daughter and best friend by her side . 
im still in shock I still feel that she's living her life with Dee-da(grandad) away on there travels somewhere . She traveled the world many times . She really did have a fantastic life . 
 

the Marie curie team we're fantastic and so professional and treated my Nan with so much respect and dignity . And spoke softly and reassuringly to her. She was well cared for and I can't thank them enough . 
 

really has been a huge shock to all of us only knowing 4 weeks ago it could be a possible cancer and now she is gone . Just doesn't seem real . 
 

medical certificate said secondary cancer but primary unknown . But we believe it was on the lungs first . But just thought her asthma was at its highest . 
 

Make every moment last with your nanny and tell her everything you wish to say . I'm so sorry this is happening to you all ! And thinking of your family at this sad time . 

charlotte