I'd like to find out how long my dad has left.

Out of the blue my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer that has spread to his liver and lung at the end of June. His deterioration has been rapid since, he doesn't eat much and has lost a lot of weight, he sleeps a lot now and isn't able despite his best efforts to walk far anymore. 

Unfortunately he slipped through the net once diagnosed and had no care or input from anyone at all until 2 weeks ago when we fought to get a gp to see him. The result of this was the build up drinks provided end of life discussed with him and DNR in place. He was also provided oral morphine, today 14/09/2019 we have had district nurse out as his breathing was a struggle she has started him on he morphine. He doesn't really want to talk to his children about it but i would like to know roughly how long he would have left now so I don't wate the time I potentially have left with him.

 

Sorry for long post I'm feeling a bit lost.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

  • Oh you poor thing!  the problem is no one can really answer that unless they are a medical professional. My mum was fine on Monday and went to the pub and then died on Wednesday suddenly from cardiac arrest  possibly from some sepsis and other things caused by her cancer all through her body.

    It does sound like your poor dad is very poorly though and I would spend every bit of time with him possible.  No one ever regrets spending too much time with a loved one who is dying, but there are plenty who wish they had spent more time.

    Just be there as much as you can, talk to him, comfort him. My friend lost her dad earlier this year and she was a nurse and even she didnt know her dad would die the night he did. but she spent all the time looking through old photos and talking about her childhood.

    thoughts are with you in your dark hour xx

  • hello, when my dad was on end of life care i googled the sypmtoms every day and did a mental check list of what he had and what he didnt have this helped me loads to understand what to expect what to look out for, and even tho i wasnt with my dad when he passed he passed with a night nurse there in his sleep with a smile on his face, ( he wouldnt have gone with us there) i knew it was only a matter of time before he left us.. 

    nothing can fully prepare you tho .. 

     

    L x