Hi 

First of all Im so sorry for all the pain you’re going through. Cancer is the most horrible disease that anyone could get and I wouldn’t wish it on the most vile person on this earth ! I’m in a similar situation, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January and it’s been a slow process trying to get chemo. A few weeks ago we were told he had 3 months. He went into hospital to get some chemo and was told he was not well enough for it, since then he’s gone downhill daily...we’ve been told he’s began the process and has a few days. It’s so horrible to see your dad who’s always so strong and brave to be in this way. 

My brother made me talk to the therapist at the hospital and although I was very reluctant, she gave me very good advice. She told me that there is no right or wrong reaction to these situations. You can cry or you can choose to cry at a later time in life or you can choose to cry not at all. Your dad will not think any less of you, he will love you for how you are. Personally I have cried but my brother hasn’t at all (totally normal for siblings to have different reactions) 

sorry if I have written an essay here, this is one of my first times on the chat ! 

Giving you and your family all the strength you need 

Georgia 

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on here. I was searching for info on metastatic breast cancer in the liver. Just found out today (while on holiday in Canada) that my mum now has this.

First of all I'm so sorry for you and the pain that you and your loved ones are going through. Cancer really is just an awful disease. It is so hard, struggling with how to feel, think, act... My thoughts are with you all and I think that the best thing we can do is look after our loved ones as well as we can and give them as many nice times as possible before we have to say goodbye.

My mum first had breast cancer - 12 years ago. She had a mastectomy and radiotherapy- they found no cancer in her lymph nodes so didn't give chemo....one of the many things I'm struggling to understand now. Then, in Jan 2012 they diagnosed lung cancer. Chemo and radio, and then the following years were diagnoses of hip and bone mets....originally assumed to be from the lung. Since she's had a titanium rod in her leg as the cancer had eaten the bone... and a total of 3 rounds of chemo and has been palliative for thr past couple of years.

Now the shock that it is liver - but metastasis from the breast.

My heart is breaking for her....it's just so unfair....she's endured countless hospital stays, falls, times we really thought we were going to lose her and it is just devastating.

Sorry for the essay. Currently sitting here 3500 miles away at my cousins house in Canada counting down the hours til we fly home tomorrow . 

Love to you all xxxx

Hello

First of all I’m so sorry for what you’re going through and though I’ve never posted on here I came across your post and felt that I should.

My Dad passed away a month ago and similarly to your Dad was fit and healthy and only 68. He was diagnosed in April this year with kidney cancer and we only found out it was metastatic in July and he passed away just weeks later.

I can only speak from my experience but I found myself feeeling numb initially but also just trying to get on with it too. I think when it all happens so quickly there is an element of shock. I still think how can my Dad just be gone and if you’d told me that this would happen last year I never would have thought it possible.

I’m an only child and like yours my family are really close and my Mum was struggling so much so I felt like I had to be the strong one. But now looking back I realise that’s important too you should never feel guilty for acting or feeling the way that you do or think that you need to behave in a certain way. It’s so personal. In the end I was alone with my Dad and his last words to me were that he was proud of me for being strong...

Take each day as it comes and just make sure that you tell your Dad everything you want to and need to. I was lucky to get that chance and it’s helped me cope since he passed. Some days now I feel still in shock and other times I feel like I’ll never stop crying but those good memories are starting to replace the feelings total loss and sadness.

Lots of love to you and your family.

Love Tania x

I am so sorry to hear all of your stories. Mine is very similar. Two weeks ago my dad was struggling to move his finger. On Friday they sent him home from hospital with terminal cancer, the primary tumour in his gullet and it’s spread everywhere, nothing more they can do. 

I, like you, just can’t believe what is happening. If someone was to wake me up and tell me I’d been in a car crash and have been in a coma for the past few weeks I’d find believing them easier than the fact my dad has just days to live. How, in this day and age, is cancer still beating us. Having had no experience of cancer until now I had no idea just how devastating it is for everyone involved.

Watching someone you love just disappear before your eyes is horrendous. 

I have no advice other than I feel exactly the same. Some days I’m fine, busy with my two boys, helping mum and others I can’t stop crying. Life is just so very cruel. I panic as soon as I leave dad and feel I should be with him every moment but I also have a family to look after. I just can’t believe it.

Im so sad to hear so many people are in the same position. Just keep getting up everyday and spend as much time with these wonderful people as you can. 

Hi NikkiJS 

I’m very sorry to hear your story ! It is nice that we are able to share stories on here and that we can share our pain with people who understand. 

I completely agree with you, every morning I wake up and think what if I’m just in a really bad dream that I can’t wake up from. We also have constant anxiety in the back of our minds that when we leave our dad he will pass, we would like to be there to hold his hand just so he doesn’t have to be alone. But at the end of the day my dad was and will remain stubborn, and I know that if he wants to pass when we are not there he will (but that almost gives me peace of mind because atleast it’s what he wanted) 

You are right be in the present moment whenever you get to see them and really just be with them because that’s all that really matters