Hi molly. You're right that there's not much I can say and maybe nothing that will make you feel any better. My mum's in a very similar situation and I'm also wrestling with feelings of uncertainty, frustration and fear. It is awful feeling like there is nothing you can do. I'm 40 this year and still feel like I'm about to fall apart most days so the fact that you are holding it together aged 17 is a huge testament to how strong you are and how much you love your mum. You may not feel strong but you are and you're doing brilliantly. Have you thought about speaking to a counsellor? Your gp could help with this. And have you spoken to your mum? You probably feel you want to protect her from how awful you feel, but she will already know that you are suffering and she may even be hoping that you start a conversation with her about it. I wish you and your mum all the strength and love in the world. 

Hi Molly,  No one can take your sadness away, but just know, your never alone. You are doing amazingly well to cope with all of this at just 17 years old. I’m a lot older and I know that I’m not coping well with my dad dying.  Sadness is a natural  reaction when given this kind of new though, So please don’t feel like your broken. You don’t need to be happy all the time, that is not normal.... you just need to breath and remember to give yourself time. 

Sending you hugs for this difficult journey. 

molly i too am a fair bit older but totally understand your pain I’m in a same position with my dad, no there’s nothing I can say to help your pain and anger with a terrible situation but you are never alone and talking to people be it a forum or face to face will help you, I too feel very alone and can’t share my grieve with my partner and children but please be strong for your mother and cherish everyday you can together. Please look after each other and show love everyday x

Hey Molly, 

I am so sorry to hear your sad news, at such a young age as well. I am 23 and I lost my dad 3 weeks ago to cancer. Dad was the same he was having chemotherapy as well and was due to have more but they stopped it because the cancer was still spreading, and it seemed unfair to carry on giving him a treatment that was doing more damage than good. I know exactly what you mean when you say you hate not knowing how long your mum will be here. If I could change anything about my journey with Dad it would be to not threat and just enjoy the time we had. It is much easier said than done I know. My heart goes out to you, I was the same as you my whole life was put on hold at the time it felt frustrating but now I am so glad I done what I done for dad. Please use us as a support network, a lot of us on here are going/ gone through something similar and we can try our best to answer questions. Your mum must be so proud. Take care of yourself xx