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My mum Is deteriorating from secondary bone cancer

Sprakeygirl
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Hi everyone,

i don’t know if you can help me but my mum was diagnosed in January with secondary bone  cancer with unknown primary. She was given a timescale of 12 months with treatment. Unfortunately she couldn’t cope with the chemotherapy so after 2 cycles she decided to stop. It has been 6 months now and I’m starting to see a drastic decline. She is at home with all of us caring for her but  this week she has started sleeping all of the time and is eating very little. She is becoming very confused and finds it a challenge to even talk. She has a rattle on her chest and is finding it really difficult to clear it. When she does manage to clear it, she’s vomits and brings up clear flem. I am becoming g very worried without how long we have left with her. We have a doctor appointment on Friday so I  will mention all of these symptoms. I would be grateful if anyone wouldn’t be able to give any advice on what to expect in the next days/weeks,

Thank you for listening,

Helen xxx 

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    Hello Helen,

    I'm sorry to hear of your mums deterioration, I lost my daughter who was 32 to cancer in March, in my experience, the changes were first weekly, then when it got to daily changes, we were told she didn't have long, she too wasn't eating a lot, in and out of consciousness, trouble talking, is your mum at home or in a hospice ? I read a book on what to expect written by a doctor which I found very helpful and comforting.  I will dig out the name of it if you like.

    Dottie

  • Offline in reply to Dottie65

    Thank you for your reply Dottie, I’m so sad to hear your news of you losing your daughter to this awful disease at such a young age. My mum is currently at home and that is where she would love to stay, we all, as a family, care for her around the clock between us all and really want her to be able to have her wish of passing away at home. I would really appreciate it if you could forward the name of the book as I really need to prepare myself, as much as I can with what’s to come and help me to deal without it the best I can,

    thank you so much again for your reply,

    Helen x

  • Offline in reply to Sprakeygirl

    Thank you for your thoughts Helen, 16 weeks today, doesn't seem to get any easier, so glad your mum is staying at home, best place to be - the book is called with the end in mind, I got it on kindle, also the hospice gave me a leaflet which gave you a  what to expect at the end stage, I will check the website see if it's linked and send it over - I wish you and your family the strength to get through this awfull tine

  • Offline in reply to Dottie65

    Thank you so much, this place is the best place to get advice and support in difficult times and I really appreciate it. I will have a look for that book I’m sure it will be a great help. Sending you lots of love xxx Helen xxx

  • Offline in reply to Sprakeygirl

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I lost my mum Tuesday. All I can say is treasure each moment and get support from hospice at home so that they can take some of the jobs away from you so you can concentrate on being with mum. Thinking of you xx

  • Offline in reply to jelcic

    Thank you for your reply, we had a doctors appointment today, they have reassessed mums medication and have upped her pain relief and  organised for her to have community nurses come in on a regular basis. I feel much better after today, as I now know my mum will be getting the medical support she needs and they will be there in a  regular basis to answer any questions she has or concerns that she may not be able to share with us. 

    Helen xxx

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