Hi everyone I’m Lucy and I’m 17, I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma when I was 16 and received 6 months of gruelling treatment. 2018 was the year I finished treatment and my mum dad and myself had an amazing year together! Unfortunately in April this year my dad became very ill, with almost a month in hospital he passed away from a short illness. It is believed he had a gene mutation called JAK2 mutation (associated with rare myeloid cancers, cause is still unknown as it’s extremely rare!)which caused a blood clot in the portal vein which was inoperable and unfortunately lead to bowel infarction (death of the small intestine) which was irreversible. So my dad passed quite tragically and we enjured so much shock during the time he had, he went through so much even a life saving op to remove a metre of the bowel. It really breaks my heart as he was only 47 and it angers me how he never abused his body and there’s people who take drugs and drink who don’t get many problems. I’m suffering from panic attacks and I believe I’m suffering with depression. Because his death is linked to having blood cancer it really angers me because it’s a horrible disease as I know myself. I feel like a massive part of me has just been cut away from me, losing a parent is the biggest loss but my dad was a special, amazing man. I’m absolutely dreading the funeral which is very soon. Any tips on how to cope with bereavement and funerals please as I’ve never lost anyone or even been to a funeral. Everyday seems to get worse and seeing him pass really stays in my mind as I’ve never experienced losing someone, I won’t ever accept or justify what happened as it was cruel and unfair but I need tips so I can get my life back eventually, I’m really struggling and feel extremely alone and anxious even though I have so much support around me losing my dad has left me in such pain as I have many years of my life to live and there going to be without him.
thanks for taking the time to read this I appreciate all answers! Xx