My best friend is dying with complicated renal cancer. Things have deteriorated very rapidly and whilst waiting for a hospice bed she is being, wonderfully by all accounts, looked after by her husband and grown up family. I live in Scotland she in southern England. I have said that I am coming down but am being blocked from doing so. Her husband has told me not to put my needs 1st. That they are in complete turmoil and don't want a visit until she is settled in the hospice. I feel like I'm being forced to abandon her and because of the rapid deterioration she will go before I get to her. I've made it totally clear that to even get moments with her would mean the world and I'd put no pressure on anyone. I don't think any of them realise how close we are despite the distance. She's like a sister. But the last thing I want is to put more pressure on a family who are in shock and exhausted. Am I being selfish?