Hi ya and so so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment...

My advice is don't stay strong .. don't hold it in ... don't be "brave" just be human... you've just lost one of the most important people we have in our lives ...mum's.... l held a scream in for years thinking l could cope .. it was only one day feelings gushed out ... I got in the car went to an area where I was alone and screamed , till it was all out ... the relief was emence .. 

It's about balance ... it's getting those feelings all out, where you feel safe .. even if it's all day ... then once your empty, get back on and carry on ... if you get the balance right, you'll get through this first raw year ... admit how you feel .. tell yourself it's o.k to feel angry / sad/ confused ... it's also o.k to smile in time .. holding feelings in, just grows inside you .. it never goes ...

I've learned how to be sad some days .. cry at times .. and shout at cancer ... then I get back in the saddle .. and live life as full as I can .. coz that's what my mum would want ... to hear us laugh ... but that takes time ... take whatever time you need ... Chrissie xx