My dad has terminal bladder cancer. He's detoriated rapidly this week. He isn't getting out of bed, stopped eating and has now stopped drinking. He's constantly sleeping
Kevan .. if I were you I would ring the McMillan. Cancer nurse . There should be a phone number amongst your fathers notes. You should not have to deal with this alone and it sounds like he needs to be seen & made comfortable . . All the best Ginny. X
It won't be long once someone becomes semi-conscious and isn't having fluids... probably from a few days up to a week. You can sit and talk to him as he might still be able to hear that you're there X
He's drinking again, hes on morphine. It's weird I think he's in such a state that the end must be soon but he then manages to get worse without dying.
He cant walk unaided now, cant dress himself. Hes coughing up black stuff( hes not a smoker) bit confused at times and hasn't eaten a meal in 16 days now.
The best advice on where your father is at in terms of ‘time’ would probally be given by the MacMillan nurses and his palliative care team. The best bedside care you can give is to make sure he is comfortable, not too hot or cold, helping him with fluids, listening to him and just sitting with him. If you think he is suffering from pain, speak to one of the nurses on duty asap and they will call the doctor to increase the morphine
My father had bladder cancer, my mother nursed him at home but we found the MacMillan nurses (and community palliative care team) were brilliant.
He has memory issues due to korsakoffs. He asked was he dying today and said he feels like he's dying. I changed the subject as he has forgotten a few times and didn't wanna remind him and upset him again.
People often know they're dying, my dad did the day before and he said he wasn't afraid. I squeezed his hand said I'd see him tomorrow and he smiled warmly. He passed away peacefully that night when I wasn't there, it's as if he knew it was OK to let go as he'd been fighting the inevitable up until then. Its so sad but he will take great comfort knowing you're there xxx
Thanks. It seems like he cant get worse then he does. He cant walk, staff at the home bath him ( hes a proud man so this is out of character) he has a nephrostomy bag on, hes down to less than 7 stone. Hes vomiting even though he isnt eating.
I thought people normally lose consciousness a few days before they die? Is that not always the case?
Yes they normally stop drinking/eating and then get drowsy. If they're in pain they are started on a syringe driver for pain relief and that makes them more comfortable and drowsier. You can tell the end is near when they're semi-conscious/unconscious and their breathing changes. But some people do pass away suddenly without that, it just depends. I found that people who fought it and didn't want to die tended to last longer and once they were resigned to going they passed peacefully. I used to do palliative care nursing/General nursing x
