Saying Goodbye

My Dad was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer (and later discovered the cancer had spread to his brain) over a year ago and after chemo and radiation seemed to be holding his own. Two weeks ago he was admitted to hospital and has since been transferred to hospice care. Scans have shown more brain mets and the cancer has now spread to his adrenal glands too. Mum and Dad live in Ireland and I manged to bring my 3 young children here in February to see Dad which I am so thankful for as I feel that may have been the last chance they had to spend any quality time with their Grandad. He has since become very confused, unable to walk and extremely fatigued. I have been here visiting mum and Dad now on my own for 5 days and I have to go home tomorrow, time, 3 children and finances won't allow me to stay longer. I spoke with one of Dads nurses yesterday with regards to how much time Dad may have left as I am terrified of not being here at the end. I was basically told (in the most lovely way) that I may have to make my peace with the fact that I may not get to be here in time and that I should treat every goodbye as if it is the last. So tomorrow I go to see Dad before I leave for the Airport and I just don't know how I am going to say that goodbye or find the words. Dad still hasn't fully accepted that he won't be going home again so he may not even realise it may be the last time we will say goodbye. 

  • What a moving story Cheets.

    How did it go yesterday ? Did you see your dad before you left for the airport? It must have been so hard for you. I just wanted you to know that we are all here for you during this difficult time. So many people on our forum will have been through the intense pain of losing a loved one, and sadly this can sometimes be a very gradual process where you don't really know what to expect and when to expect it.

    I am sure your dad really appreciated having you by his side and you have done everything you could even bringing your three children to see him. I am sure this was a very special moment for him, one that he will not forget. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I did see Dad before I left, we spent some time together and as I was leaving and we both got very emotional. I told him how much I loved him and gave him the longest hug goodbye. 

    I am devastated to say that my lovely Dad lost his battle yesterday morning (Tuesday). As I had feared I wasn't able to be by his side but I am trying to take comfort in the fact I got to spend the time with him that I did. I am now on the way to Ireland with my husband and children (telling them Grandad had gone to heaven was the hardest thing I've had to do as a parent yet) to say a final goodbye as we lay him to rest on Friday. I can't quite believe how quickly he deteriorated and I honestly did think there would be more time.