Hi there, this is really hard to answer as chemo causes all the symptoms you have described, when my husband had his for his stage 4 lung cancer I watched him suffer all those symptoms after chemotherapy.  If Mum has decided against treatment you can only support her decision and help her cope the best you can.  Don't push her into having further treatment, most of us at a certain age know what's best for us.  Just be there for her, speak to her McMillan nurses and ask how you can be of help.  Speak to her surgery and get Mum to write a little note giving you permission to speak on her behalf, you could write it, she just signs it.  Then you can call her GP if you feel she needs more help.  GPs are very understanding when dealing with cancer patients and their family.  If Mum has a favourite drink try and get fluids in her, most people don't drink enough and it makes them feel worse, let her eat whatever she feels like, little and often, my husband managed soup, ice cream, banana and custard, high calorie foods too keep the weight from falling too low.  I hope I've been a little bit helpful, it's a difficult time and my best wishes are with you.  Carol

My friend had bone cancer, chemo wasn't working and they gave him only one month. The surgeon decided to amputate the limb as a last resort even though it had gone to lymph nodes and lungs . After the amputation the cancer stopped spreading or growing. All the spots became benign. Now 10 years later my friend is still living 

Hi this might seem strange to you but I've had bone cancer for over 3 years now I had kemo wen they found it stopped it spreading if its only in the bones it should be treatable you can live with it for a long time, I also have it other places as well I. I'm reasonably healthy and mobile. I kemo is not nice but its being used to help someone but its up to the pacient weather to have it or not.

Billy 

Hi Helen,

Sorry to hear about your Mum - I know from experience how lousy it can be to be on chemo.

I was lucky in a way because despite having stage 4 incurable cancer I had experienced almost no symptoms so I knew that it was the chemo which was causing my symptoms (which were almost identical to your Mum's) and not the cancer. 

Obviously I know nothing about your Mum, e.g. her age and physical fitness but it is her decision and as long as she was fully informed about her optins and likely outcomes all you can do is support her in that decision. If she has definitely decided to stop, it would be worth asking for her scan to be brought forward as its original tming may have been arranged to coincide with the end of the chemo.

If the symptoms were due to chemo side effects they should start to ease fairly quickly - within days or weeks raher than weeks or months.

Good luck

Dave

Thank you all for your advice, I really appreciate the support. My mum has an appointment on Thursday with her consultant where we are going to discuss options. I think she may try a milder dose of chemo until her scan, which isn’t on 30th April. If it is making a difference I’m sure she will be strong and have the last couple of cycles. They have been so good at the hospital and have given my mum lot a of options. She has been off her chemo for a couple of weeks now and the change in her is unbelievable! She’s is now eating and drinking plenty and has not been sick for almost a week now, I even managed to get her out in her wheelchair today for some fresh air, which was great and made her feel so much better. Hopefully on Thursday I will have more answers on her next steps of treatment. It will just be hard watching her again suffering with the side effects of the chemo but if we know it’s doing its job then we need to have faith and support her through it, it’s  just so hard to watch when there isn’t nothing really you can’t do to make her feel better xxx thanks again guys for your support xxx my mum is 70 and She is normally really fit and active walking miles, on holiday all of the time and has never been in hospital all of her life... except for having me of course...

Helen x

My mum has cancer in her hips, femur and a small amount in her lung, we only found out due to my mum breaking her hip just before Christmas. She was walking miles in Scarborough at the end of November then she started complaining about pain in the top of her leg. It happened so quickly, her bones were sent off for analysis after her hip replacement and that’s when the results came back about mid January. Xxx

Hi my C was stage 4 when they found it it was in prostate, lymph nodes, lung and bones (pelvis, ribs & spine). That was 2016 I still have cancer but its livable I can get around OK I just have to keep taking tablets & have regular injections. But apart from that everything is fine. Best of luck.

Billy