How long does my Mom have?

Hi,

My mother is very sick, with diminishing reality and heavy, upsetting delusions. She was taken into the hospital just over a week ago with a suspected lung infection which turns out to be advanced cancer, possibly Lymphoma which has spread to her lungs, liver and kidney (possible brain). She is still in the hospital as she is so very sick but has gone from being in a relatively dreamy medicated state to one of paranoia and fear, her hallucinations have now become very disturbing and it is heartbreaking seeing her go down hill so quickly.

The doctors at this stage have been unable to provide any indication of life expectancy but have confirmed she is not a candidate for any treatment due to her age, fitness and previous medical complications.

I can't bear to see her in such pain and confusion whilst being in a hospital not set-up to manage her psychological state. She is in a ward with patients suffering from dementia which is a very unhealthy environment for her alongside the detrioration of her thoughts. The palliative care team are amazing and doing everything they can but they are not the primary carers at this stage, that is in the hands of the ward nurses who are busy and under staffed.

Can anybody offer any insight into how long she may have? She is going through a living hell and we (the family) want to work out how or if we can get her into a calmer environment whilst supporting her medicinal needs

  •  

    Hi,

    Welcome to our community, although I'm sorry to hear the reason for you joining us.

    We had a similar case to this with my father-in-law at the end of January. He was admitted to hospital for assessment, as he was going downhill very fast. He was diagnosed on his first afternoon, with cancer throughout his body. He was moved to a dementia ward, where he was given a single room.

    The nurses did all that they could for him, but they were not geared up to look after someone who was so ill. We eventually managed to get him transferred to a hospice and ,what a difference that made. Sadly, he died on his first night there and only had 6 days from diagnosis to his passing.

    Unfortunately, it is impossible to say how long your mother may have. Could you have a word with her doctor to see if she could be moved to a hospice? The care my father-in-law received there made it more like a first class hotel than a hospital and, I'm sure that this would be better for your mother too.

    If she got to somewhere like this, her pain should be well controlled and you would certainly find it a much calmer environment altogether.

    I hope that you manage to get something sorted.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx