Hi Flower,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum and her lung cancer. I have lost a lot of relatives to lung cancer and, I am currently on my second bout of breast cancer in the past 9 years. I know only too well how upsetting it can be to watch someone who you love so dearly, fade before your very eyes.

Talldarkandhandsome and Josie have both had slightly different experiences and this is normal. We are all individuals and none of us die in exactly the same way. You will probably realize when she is nearing the end. She will not want food or drink. She will sleep a lot more. Her arms and legs will start to get colder from the extremities. She may become agitated and start seeing people who have already passed in the room. She may get a raspy sound in her throat. This is called the death rattle and comes pretty close to the end. These are a few of the main signs, but this should give you enough to recognize when you reach this stage.

I am thinking of you both and hope that your mum has a peaceful passing. Please remember that we are always here for you, so keep in touch.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 6 weeks ago. Last week she moved to a hospice as we were told she only has a few weeks left.

He breathing is under control with oxygen and morphine, and she's sat up talking, although sleepy. I just don't know what I should be looking out for. Mums not eaten or drunk for 6 weeks anyway, as the tumour has compressed on her esophagus. But apart from getting more drowsy, she seems stable (if you can use that term). I just think is today the last day, and don't really know what I should be looking for.

My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 6 weeks ago. Last week she moved to a hospice as we were told she only has a few weeks left.

He breathing is under control with oxygen and morphine, and she's sat up talking, although sleepy. I just don't know what I should be looking out for. Mums not eaten or drunk for 6 weeks anyway, as the tumour has compressed on her esophagus. But apart from getting more drowsy, she seems stable (if you can use that term). I just think is today the last day, and don't really know what I should be looking for.

Hi Rich,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum's lung cancer. This is such a devastating time for you. The three posts above this all give some tips to look out for. I am glad to hear that she is in the hospice and hope that she is getting first class care there. If you communicate with the staff in the hospice, they will usually tell you when the end is near. They will usually change to end of life medication as she approaches the end. This will make her much sleepier. One of the last senses to go is hearing, so even if she appears o be asleep, talk to her still. Chances are that she will still hear you.

Not eating or drinking often happens towards the end. Don't be tempted to force her to eat or drink,as this can go down the wrong way and cause her to choke. For as long as your mum is in the hospice, you will probably wonder whether or not each time is the last time you'll see her. This is something that nobody can predict.

If you want to be with her at the end, let the hospice staff know this and make sure that it is written in her notes. Just a warning though. If you've not witnessed someone dying before, you will find that some peolple get very agitated towards the end, whilst others pass peacefully. There is no way of knowing which way your mum will go, so you have to be prepared for this, if you want to be with her at the end.

I have been in your position when I lost my mum with secondary breast cancer,which had spread to her lungs, liver, brain, and bones. It is a hard road you are travelling and, I hope that you have the support of family and friends.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Thinking of you both and,I sincerely hope that your mum has a peaceful passing.

Kind regards,

Jolamine