Hi there ...

I'm so sorry, that is heartbraking and can't believe a hospice havnt stepped up .. it's just not right ... all I can think of is give Marie Currie a call ... they specialise in terminal patents and their carers. . I know they can sit through the night .. if you go on their home page.. you can see all they do .. I was really surprised.  ...  please let us know what they say and if they do help you, as it will help me to inform others in your situation too ..

Chrissie xx

Hi Kerry, Very sorry to read that you are also going through this. Quite simply: It's ***. My dad lost his battle against stage 4 PC in November. It's difficult to say how much time they have left, but from experience, we personally noticed that things can take a turn pretty fast. I echo what Chriss said below and would encourage you to give Marie Currie a call. They really are amazing, angels! They came to our house and helped settle my Dad before he passed and we honestly couldn't have done it without them. Sending you all the love xx

Hi Kerry, 

I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. 

My Gran is also terminal and back in November took a bad chest infection. She was very confused, hallucinating, had a very high temperature and was asking me to hold her hand. She gave both my mum and I such a fright and I thought she was nearing the end. I just wanted to share this with you as it may well be that this is what is happening with your Dad. Of course, I’m not a professional but thought it might give you some reassurance. I also agree with what others have said about Marie Curie - they are amazing. My gran is currently at their hospice and the care and support has been amazing (both for my Gran and us). 

Sending lots of love. Take care, 

Siobhan x

Hi Kerry.

Your post has really struck a chord with me. My Dad got diagnosed with stomach cancer in November and he passed away 3 weeks later. What you're describing is exactly what we experienced with Dad, although our local hospice were amazing. Dad was in uncontrollable pain as the cancer had spread, he was quickly put on a syringe driver to make him comfortable. Once we he was put on the driver, we knew the end was close but ultimately he was pain free during his final days.

It's heartbreaking to know that people are going through what me and my family went through but i must say this, Talking to people on here helped a lot. Ultimately, losing a loved one can never be prepared for but i want you to know that you're not alone and there's people out there who have been through the same and we're here to talk.

Take care 

It’s heartbreaking isn’t it. We went through it with my dad and Douglas Macmillan offered a home service whereby they would have someone come and sit bedside through the night. We didn’t take up this service as my mum was beside him but I’m sure its not right that he’s alone. My dad had metastatic bowel cancer and 9 weeks after diagnosis, he seemed to fall off a cliff edge and passed away very quickly. It is so so very sad and I really don’t envy where you are at the moment. But cherish every moment. That’s not to say this is where you are with your dad but I do think a hospice should take him in to care for him or at least come out and provide care. It’s simply not right that he is alone. Sending love x

Thank you all for your comments and sorry for not replying sooner. Dad was taking into the hospice on Friday. He has continued to deteriorate quite quickly. He is now on a syringe driver and unable to talk. He is sleeping all the time amd cannot communicate. We have stopped visitors as a lot of people seemed to be coming just to watch him which is not what he would have wanted.  It is breaking me and my sister. We are shattered and taking it in shifts to make sure he is not alone although the hospice have been amazing. Now we know this is the end, part of me wants it to come quickly so he is no longer suffering and then i feel guilty for feeling like that. His breathing seems more shallow this afternoon so we are just playing a waiting game and spending our time talking to him and being with him

Hi Kerry..

So glad he's in a hospice now, that's what I'd want ... please don't feel guilty about wanting it to end .. it's his suffering you want to end, not him .. so your just saying what we'd all say ...

Keeping you all in my thoughts .. big vertual hug to you your sister and esp your dad ... you've both been amazing .. Chrissie xx