Hi [@AlfElf]‍ 

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling and would like to offer a little bit if advice. I am assuming your dad has Macmillan involved? Or the District Nursing service? Either one of these can signpost you to services which may be able to offer you an ear in your area. 

Being sad and scared is totally normal, he's your dad, most people would feel the exact same way you do. You mentioned the Samaritans, why don't you reach out to them to talk through your feelings with someone who will understand grief and how this may feel? Just know you are not alone and there will always be someone to listen to you. 

I hope you get the support you need 

Message me if you need though 

There is also someone else with a post about their mum @Laa, you both may be able to help each other at this sad time.

Hi AlfElf,

I’m in the same situation too so I know how you’re feeling.  My Dad has Bone Cancer and secondary Cancers and it’s terrible isn’t it? My Dad worked in Construction his whole life and was always a big, strong man. To watch them literally disappear before you a form of torture I think.

My Dad is the same, it’s a few days now at best, but what does make me feel better is knowing the end is near ... I know, weird right?! But I have been here with my Mum many years ago, so I can tell you from experience that whilst it’s and evil and horrible illness, the release when the time comes does make it better as they are at peace bless them. No more suffering or pain. Us left behind feel that pain for much longer, but you can, and will go on. It IS true also that time is a great healer. 

Looking back on my own experience with Mum, take this time to tell him how much you love him, ask him if there is anything he wants to talk about, and try to be positive and upbeat - I know it’s easiwr said than done, but no one wants to see pity in their child’s eye, especially when passing is near. If your Dad is able to eat/drink anything, bring him some favourites- even if they go untouched, they will be appreciated and he’ll note the gesture. My dad loves Jelly Babies so I bought 5 packs today, he at half of a pack! I was so pleased and took so much comfort in that, sad I know, but still. 

These last few days are, frankly, exhausting. Sleep as much as poss, rest, take an hour a day for yourself to treat yourself. I’m staying at a hotel near my Dad’s Hospice and I treated myself to a massage at the weekend, it really was heaven and I felt great, still sad, but uplifted and ready to face another day of it all.

sending you hugs, and feel free to get in touch anytime if you want to chat since we’re both in this together.

take care

Tom