Hi [@Laa]‍ 

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rubbish time. Are Macmillan, Marie Curie or the District nursing service involved with your mum? Any of these services will be able to signpost you to supportive groups within your area. 

I think there is no 'proper' way to prepare yourself for anything, but what you are doing by venting and trying to find like-minded people is exactly what you do need to do. I mentioned on another page your name as this person is losing their Father imminently and I wasn't sure if it was worth yous contacting each other? @AlfElf (I think it was) 

You are grieving and I can tell you, everything you are feeling - this to and fro of feelings is totally normal and one I have seen alot in my time professionally. 

It might be worth making a little book for the kids with pictures in from your mum, before my nana passed I had a book which I filled in with family members which gave me a totally different insight into my nana life which I would have possibly never have known and I cherish this now. 

I am sending you my love, message if you need though 

Hi there ...

Oh my this is one of the hardest things in life we go through ... l was young like you when my amazing mum passed ... with 2 young lads who adored her ... she was with us always ... I found gentle honesty was the way to go with them, even my 7 year old ... l was 7 when my grandad died, and in trying to protect me, lied ... the pain of the lie is still with me ...

Now I'm on my cancer journey ... and didn't know how much time I had ... so l have the most wonderful amazing granddaughter ... we are so so close ... she was 5 when I went in for a masectomy ... I told her that nanny was very poorly and the Drs were going to TRY to make nanny better. . But if not I'd be the little star next to the bright one ... as we've always said that's my mum's star ... and that I'd look down ever night and she could look up and see me ...

She was happy with that ... and I've done a little memory book for her since she was one ...everything we did.. and photos ... so she'll always remember how much I loved her ... she's the little girl in the pic ... she's 7 now ... but I'm so glad we found the words to help her, if I'd not come through ... 

Please don't look ahead .. live in the day ... that's what I've done since I found out ... I'll pack as many wonderful memories as I can fit in , be it long or short ... so hold your mum's hand ... admit your both scared ... leave nothing unsaid .. and make every good day a memory day .. and if you all share tears too .. your children will know it's o.k to cry .. because kids are braver then we think , if it's done gently and honestly ... big hug ... Chrissie

Thank you for your lovely reply, my mum is getting some support yes but this is all very new & only got told this nearly 2weeks ago. So she is still in process of people getting in contact with her etc! So that’s deffo something for me to think of.

A memory book is something I’m going to start putting together ASAP! Lovely idea not only for my children but for all of us in my little family. Thank you for mentioning my name, i don’t feel so alone now 

L x

Hi again ...

Something I forgot to mention is, because of how l delt with my boys that were 16 and 7 ... we always talked and laughed at those wonderfull memories she left us all .. now they are 45 and 36 and you know they often still put photos of her with them when they were babies on their face book ... 

We don't ever loose those wonderfull mum's, we just take them along in our hearts on our journey through life ...  always here if you want a chat ...  Chrissie xx

That is so lovely! I hope my children do the same in years to come, you’ve been so helpful thank you again for your advise it’s really helped me.

L x