I am so ,so sorry what your brother has had to endure with this evil disease.Also my heart breaks for you also.I lost my Nan who was young ,my Uncle at 65 to to the same cancer your brother is fighting.My Uncle stopped all his treatment as  it was also in his lungs and just went with it fought it for nineyears,please dont  get me wrong quality of life was not brilliant ,he had so much pain he taught himself to walk as he had a mass in his groin and his legs were dead weights.He refused to be beaten but unfortunately the devil won  and at the end I was relieved he had no further suffering.My NaN was diagnosed and died four months later she was 72 that day.So everyone is different there isn’t the same way or same pattern.I understand how you feel and sending you virtual hugs.Never give up hopeI truly thought my Uncle would have gone years before his time as he defied the odds and the doctors.He truly wanted to spend whatever life he had not feeling worse with drugs.But everyone is different.ill pray for you both ,miracles do happen i truly believe that,and if the worst does happen,please take comfort from knowing your brother fought like a warrior and will be at peaceful  if the time does come. I’m thinking of you.and feel so sorry how you are feeling ,my husband has just been diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer which is a rare cancer we are at the start of another fight with this monster,very harsh treatment ,I’m fearful for us and our beautiful life together but staying positive with the support of the amazing kind people on this group.Their experience and love and commitment are amazing as you will find out.Stay in touch,it’s good to vent,ask questions ,or just have a chat with people with the same issues going on in their lives.God bless xxxx

IHello jmf and welcome to the forum.  It is so hard not just for the patient but also for the people who love them.  I too have lost family and friends to cancer.  I tried to remember that they were still the person they had always been and not just a cancer patient, so I would talk about the things that had always interested them.  61 is no age at all.  I hope you are not having to bear this on your own and that there are other family members - and friends of course to help you through this.  I am attaching a link about what to expect and other things that may be of help to you while you care for your brother.  Annie

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../dying-with-cancer