Good morning. Sending you mu love and hoping you are doing Ok. It is amazing how you have coped so well , thank you for keeping us updated and I hope all goes well for you next Monday. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing, I'm absolutely sure there are a lot more people in these awful situations in hospitals, and not just cancer suffers. So thank you. x

Betty

Chrissie, it’s the weirdest thing and I don’t want to scare anyone so it could be my imagination but three times now I’ve been doing something and I’ve felt a big hot almost blanket of love being wrapped around me. The first time it happened I was stood outside and it came with the overwhelming smell of the most beautiful perfume and I know it’s my dad. I can’t even explain how I know. But like I said although I find it comforting it could be me just over thinking and I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I think we will be ok because of the children and I think you’re right. My mum has a lot of issues from a “hush hush” childhood and it’s got to be better for children if you try to explain as much as you can. 

I’m going through the complaints process at the moment. The same thing (although the patient didn’t die) happened on the ward where my daughters friend was on placement and she reported it to the uni. It’s just not fair on vulnerable patients and the impact on the families is unbearable. I don’t believe that I personally will make a difference BUT I think that by pushing my complaint as far as possible it helps stop it being brushed under the carpet and maybe the next person it happens to will be taken more seriously. The more people who speak up the better I think but it’s hard to complain they don’t make it easy.

Ive gone and caught a chest infection now because I’m run down with it, I’ll be coughing and sneezing all the way through dad’s funeral the way it’s going bless him. I miss him so much. He always had a tub of Vick’s on him and I need that now. 

Big hugs and lots of love. I do love you guys. I can’t thank you enough for chatting to me and helping me along. I just can’t believe I found such an amazing group of friends at the worst time in my life. THANK YOU. Xxxxxxxxxx

Oh how wonderful , a blanket of love .. well to those of us that know there's something there .. we know you really did feel your daddy ...  Vinny Jones was on t.v a.m .. talking about his wife .. that hard man of football and those films .. well think he had everyone with a big tear in our eyes ... one part he recalled was the time he stood outside their home and there was arc of light on the sky, that just stayed there .. then before going inside blew a kiss to the arc and it just flew away ... 

We can't see the air we breath, but we know it's there .. so are our loved ones ... just believe .. it doesn't matter who else believes .. many have missed signs because they tried to logic things ... my oldest son , who my mum adored more then anything .. years later had a bike crash .. half his side was brused and bones broken ... I rushed to the hospital as they took his helmit off there was a perfect kiss mark on his forhead in the colour my mum always wore .. she was always leaving lipstick on his forhead ... there was nothing in the helmit that could have caused it ... yes he was badly hurt,but did she cushion him to keep him safe and leave her mark to let us know ... yes I believe ... 

You think you may not have changed anything .. but some one who works in hospital, care home may have read this, and changed how they do things ... because of you... Chrissie  

Please go and see your GP for your cough. When my husband died and prior to his funeral both of my sons caught pneumonia, I think they picked it up in the hospital visiting their Dad. I felt like I was living a nightmare visiting them in the same hoapital that I hated, where my husband was treated so bad. That's why I feel you should take extra care of yourself.It is definately worth a visit to you G.P The experience you had sounds wonderful treasure it. xx

Betty

Ok, Is everybody ready for the latest installment of our hellish journey? I can’t believe I am writing this... 

You know how I was talking about my dad’s funeral arrangements earlier? Well here we go......

4.30 this afternoon the funeral director called my mum and asked her to pop round to his office to talk. 

She came back 20 minutes later absolutely broken. 

Hes been trying to get my dad’s body into “care” now numerous times and the hospital keep refusing to release dad’s body because the doctors aren’t signing the paperwork. (We didn’t know any of this until 4.30 today). 

The paperwork had to be in place by this evening but despite this they still haven’t done it and will not release him. 

So the funeral director has cancelled my dad’s funeral. We can no longer have the chapel we wanted as we had the last date before it closes for winter and that’s it. 

I tried calling the hospital but everyone had left for the day already so I have no idea whats happened. No body from the hospital has contacted us. We are just shocked and confused. I honestly just don’t know what to say. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey Betty, how are you doing? I took your advice and I called my doctor. They didn’t have any appointments but he’s calling me on Friday so hopefully I’ll be able to get something for it. I can’t talk properly now my throat has gone really scratchy. I think you’re right about picking it up  from the ward, I’m run down at the moment too I haven’t been eating much and what I have had hasn’t been too healthy-lots of chocolate as I’m rushing about pretty much. I’m cooking lovely things for mum but you know how when you’ve cooked you don’t want to eat? I always get like that so she’s doing ok but I just don’t feel like eating myself. Did you read my latest installment? I can’t believe it Betty. I was trying to think positively about the funeral and I was trying to focus on making it as lovely as possible for my girls really because they’re so little but even that’s all gone wrong now. If someone told me this whole story I think I’d have trouble believing them you know its been so awful. 

How are you feeling at the moment? Reading my experiences must bring things back for you and it’s so hard. But lots of love and hugs for you. Xxxxxxxxx

Thank  you for thinking of me and taking the trouble to write,  I know it sound so ridiculous but as that actually happened to Paul and Alan, my son's I was just hoping it won't happen to you.  When it happened to them I went to my GP who actually gave me antibiotics, so I suppose I was lucky, lol nothing about any of this is lucky but you know what I mean.  I think stress makes us all vunerable to all sorts of stuff and it seems to happen when every one else think its all over, so just take good care of yourself.

Betty xxx

It does bring it back for me, I actually could not even look on here for a while, it's fine if it happens to you, just do what you need to keep yourself going, a day at a time seems laughable but it's what you do. xx Hugs and good thoughts to you.

Hi migi just noticed you've got more problems caused by the hospital it's unbelievable after everything was arranged for the funeral, if you're feeling rough you want to try a drop in clinic it'll be quicker than Dr especially if you have picked up something, remember your going to be run down what you've been doing lately and not eating properly Fridays a way off especially if it's only a phone call, not to see you, or try A&E, hope you get sorted soon best wishes. Billy x.

P.s were all here rooting for you, but get well soon, hope your mum is OK with all the hassle. Again best wishes.. You need them..