Hi Chrissie, we have and we have a nurse come from the hospice once a week or fortnight to check on dad but the feeling is that if he’s adamant he wants to stay at home they’re limited as to what they can do. They want to take him in, they’ve said it would be much better for him because they have trained people who could look after him around the clock and they’ve said Mum could stay there with him. So all the discussions are difficult because they’re offering but my parents don’t want to go there so they’ve said the person to deal with from home is my dads GP. I can see their point if he was in a hospice all the resources would be close at hand but we’ve all agreed as a family that we will take care of him at home and I honestly think if that’s what my parents want then that’s what they should have. We’re not struggling.with dad, he’s good to look after, it’s my mum that’s difficult and she feels like she couldn’t cope moving to a hospice out of the city away from home. She’s got me down the road all her neighbors etc...but yes I think they think my parents are being ungrateful and irresponsible by choosing to stay at home so the struggles are their own fault sort of thing but I think he’s better off home with us too because he’s happy. Its really difficult. Xxxxxxx

Oh at least you tried ... I thought they could sit with your dad through the night, occaisionaly.... mabye it's different in other areas .. but what an amazing family you all are .. you should all be very proud..  

Keep in touch whenever you want a chat or vent .. big vertual hug as always ... Chrissie xx

Hi everyone, 

My dad died on Wednesday in the early hours of the morning. I’m in a complete state of shock. Im empty. I don’t even know what to write but you have all been so lovely and supportive I wanted to let you know and say thank you. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So so sorry ... but what a trooper he was ... and your deff take after him ... my thoughts are with you ... there's another wonderful star up there looking down ...

Sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x 

Hi Tracy,

I am really sorry to hear about your Dad. Really am. Bless you. Just joined here this evening. I have just returned home from New Zealand (lived here in the UK since 2000) where I discovered my mother has Parkinsons Disease and Dad is ongoing with prostate cancer since 2009. My dear Dad is still with us but now has x2 small tumours they wont operate on owing to his age for fear of a spread. He is active in life still but does get tired post the surgery he had 10 years ago and is age 72. I was last in NZ back in 2009. At age 46 with x2 age 10 & 11 it gets busy running around after everyone and keeping the ship steady as they say. I havent had time to read all 84 replies but its good to see people responding as best they can. Wishing you all that is good in life despite these hard times. As we say in New Zealand 'kia kaha' which means stay strong. Not on social media either but glad to have joined here.

cheerio

David Foote, Norfolk.

Hi migi. So so sorry for your loss you can't say he didn't give it a good fight,, at least he's at rest and peace, you'll have to keep strong for your mother now but make sure you look after yourself as well, God bless you and your family,, best wishes.. 

I am so sorry for you. I have not been back on here for a while due to my own issues, but have read your post from time to time. The next couple of weeks are going to be very busy for you. The only crumb of comfort I can give you is time really makes things more bearable, I know it's cliche but it is the only thing that helped me. It's been 10 months since my husband died. Take care of yourself and your family

Betty xxx

Thank you guys. It will probably come as no surprise that my dad had the most horrific death in hospital. After the lack of care throughout I should have expected it. I’ve got a solicitor looking at the details and had a discussion with the head bereavement nurse today. Both were horrified at my dad’s suffering in his last few hours. It was over an hour of torture for him in the end and I don’t think I’ll ever get over what I saw.  The nurse today suggested that when it’s all sorted out that we get together and do a patients story to be used for training purposes to stop it ever happening again. I would like to do that because it would mean that something positive could come out of this but at the moment it’s so raw. I woke up this morning trembling and shaking. I wasn’t dreaming about him I didn’t wake up thinking about him I was just shaking all over. My mum so far is doing ok. Much much better than I could have imagined. I’ve moved her in with us so I can look after her but she should never have seen that either. I am so disheartened by the whole experience right from the beginning. It’s unbelievable. Xxxxxxx

So sorry to read about your loss and the terrible circumstances.