I am so very sorry for your family. I am also angry, unfortunately my husband also went through an awful time in hospital. Some of the nurses were just downright rude. I am still so angry about his awful treatment there. He discharged himself and came home he died two days later. There was a feeble attempt made to get him registered with a hospice, they called with an appointment after he had died. So please stand up for your Dads rights, Some people shoud never work in hospitals. I thank God every day my husband was  at home with me when he died.

Hi Brien,

I'm so sorry to read about your awful experience with the hospital when he needed end of life care - there is simply no excuse for it. This has nothing to do with a lack of specialist training it is about basic compassionate nursing and treating people with dignity and respect. Receiving a referral to a hospice after your husband died is unforgivable and inexcusable. It also indicates to me systemic failings in a Trust's processes. In a well managed Trust the registration of a patient's death by the GP results in all patient appointment letters being sent out to avoid exactly this situation.

Please channel your anger into making a formal complaint to the Trust's Chief Executive coped to the CCG and the Care Quality Commission. Those in charge and those supposed to be inspecting hospitals need to be made aware of the grief caused by these failings and those responsible held to account and action taken to stop another family (possibly mine) being treated so shamefully. 

Best wishes
Dave

The GP also had a problem with the hospital. He had to wait over a week to get the details of my husbands treatment from the hospital. Him and his secretary called all the time for this paperwork. All it took in the end was an e mail, unfortunately I could not register the death because I needed the certificat e from the Dr. This of course delayed everything. It really was unbelievable.

Hi Dave, 

you are so right. I read your message to Brien and yes. There are huge failings already in dads care and I'm so glad I posted here. ( I'm pretty quiet normally, I don't do social media or get involved with anything that is confrontational) but I agree that by making valid complaints and raising awareness it could save other people from this awful nightmare. As soon as I have dealt with dad I'll do it I just don't have the energy right now and to be truthful I'm scared that if I start making complaints now while he's alive they will all know and be resentful towards us and think of us as trouble makers and when they do come into contact with dad they might be worse to him. It doesn't help that I think my parents are autistic. My mum has mental health issues with anxiety and agoraphobia but I've done a lot of research lately and I am 100% sure they are both somehow autistic. They don't know. My mum says she's weird but doesn't know what's wrong with her and her "weirdness" is magnified under this amount of stress. I only worked it out recently and I'm so glad I did. I've always had a difficult relationship with them because we don't understand each other and I could never work out how they couldn't under stand simple things that were explained to them repeatedly (they aren't stupid, they're both pretty intelligent especially my dad). Now I understand what's wrong with them it's made things good and I've let go of the massive resentment I had for them because they just don't understand. My mums "weirdness" is difficult, I try to explain she has mental health problems when she's talking to the doctors etc... Because she doesn't get it a lot of the time. Like last night I wouldn't let her on the ambulance because she said things like well if it's just a panic attack bring him back into the house now please. It sounded rude and she was hindering things and just not grasping it and that's what she's like and she would be mortified to think she had gotten people's backs up or even irritated them, but there's not even anyone to explain that only me!! And I'm not a mental health care expert. It's just hard. Nothing follows, it's all completely disjointed. Even down to the fact that the number the ward gave her if she was concerned about dad at all can only be used 9-5, and this started at 5.30 on a Friday. I'm so sorry for waffling but basically what I meant was I'm going to make a complaint. 

Xxxxx

I meant to say as well that the air ambulance doctor last night said dad had to see his own doctor on Monday and mentioned he may need a syringe driver and a "just in case" box. I've only just started googling this so not sure about it yet. 

Xxxxx

I meant to say as well that the air ambulance doctor last night said dad had to see his own doctor on Monday and mentioned he may need a syringe driver and a "just in case" box. I've only just started googling this so not sure about it yet. 

Xxxxx

Something strange happened last night too. Dad was sat on the chair in absolute agony, extremely distressed and he said "I can't stay. I've got to go home". Mum said "you are home." I don't know if he was delusional because of the pain but it was strange. Xxxxx

Is he on morphine? My wife was away with the fairies whilst on Oromorph and hallucinated quite a bit.