Hi there ...

So sorry your going through this heartbraking time....

I was 34 with two boys aged 8 and 16 when I lost my mum suddenly from a heart attack ... she was fine that morning ... she was all of our best friends ... she was and is still a huge part of our lives .. 

You still have a time to make every moment count ... leave nothing unsaid ... and share tears... and admit your both scared ... I never got that chance , and what I'd give for just one more hour .. try to live in the day ... let your kids know it's o.k to cry, because when everyone trys to be strong,  you all walk different paths .. admitting feelings and holing each other's hands , kids and all .. you will all walk together ..

My boys still put pictures of her on their face book , even now ... she never left us, we all brought her along our journeys.. and that was 30 years ago ... even my granddaughter , who never met her , knows all about my mummy, and we say night night to her star... children are amazing .. they know how to cry and then 10 minutes later,  they are doing something else ... it's giving them gentle honesty ... 

You are her ... she made you... she will live on in you .. slowly I learned to live without her .. but I still miss her every day .. but she's safe in my heart now .. 

Sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie

Hello Chrissie

Thank you for replying to my post,Your words mean alot to me. My children are 13.nearly 10 and 4 so all at different ages of understanding. They are aware nanny is poorly and my oldest is very aware of what is going to happen to her.

My husband is a very big support to me and has been my rock since this all started. I just take it a day at a time at the moment but if i let my mind wonder it can go to all sorts of places, but the thing that scares me the most is the afterwards.. i know we will all carry on but how? How will i cope with never hearing my mums voice again or never receiving a txt message from 'mum'. How will i feel walking into her house but her not there and reminders of her all around?

Before last year i was totally ignorant to cancer and the damage it can truly cause now i realise its a horrible unforgiving disease that destroys families and will eventually take my mum from me and a nan away from my children.

Hug much appreciated. x x kerry x x 

Hi

i couldnt read your message and not respond. Im losing my mother too. Told last Friday that she has max 6 months. She has multiple myeloma . Right now shes at home and is in great form and has no idea that the cancer has spread and she will go downhill rapidly. Im married with four child all under ten and i have one brother, im 40. I understand how u feel. I feel the same. I text and ring mam all thetime. She is my best friend. I honestly dont know how i will cope. Yesterday i was in crisis mode and actually thought “itll be ok we will just get this over with and then afterwtards ill ring mam”. Then i froze. I HATE CANCER. It destroys everything. My eldest boy will devastated and he knows that inthe pastshe was sick but they have sucha bond. I cant tell him yet because he would say it to her and be upset. Its like living. Nightmare 

do you have a cancer counsellor? I have and it helps. If you ever want to reach out ti be please do. Im thinking of you and your mam. Remember you are not aloneonthis terrible journey. My counsellor said to me today “ right now you feel you cant cope, you can get thriugh this, you cant live without her. You can and you will. Try to look at this journey as a process that you focus on the stage you are in now andnot the next stage. One foot in front of thr other. Follow your instincts and talk to your support network”

sending you love and hugs x

Hi

Thank you for replying to my post, I'm so sorry you to are going through this nightmare. My husband and children are what keeps me going day to day. My husband helps me focus on one step at a time, I was panicking my mum wouldn't make Christmas or my birthday 4 days after so we just focused on reaching that and getting to the next thing which was new year, we have now passed that so now it's the next thing which is my sons 10th birthday in February.

I don't have a cancer counsellor so I may look in to that. To be honest this forum is the first time I've spoke to anyone about my mums cancer except my husband.

I would definitely like to talk to you some more and keep in touch, maybe we could exchange mobile numbers?

Hope to hear from you x Kerry x x 

Hi

I’m also feeling lost and so scared. My lovely dad was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer on 21 November 2018 and had an endoscopy on 23 December 2018 where they confirmed his primary cancer is in his esophagus and stomach. He has deteriorated so rapidly he can’t even go to his first oncology appointment and is now receiving palliative care with morphine. He has been assigned a Macmillan nurse and my mum is caring for him at home for as long as she can. We have been told that it will be a very fast journey and he probably  won’t be with us by the end of January. I’m devastated. He’s only just turned 70 and within 2 months has been destroyed. I feel for you as I don’t know what to tell my 3 little ones either.

I will be thinking of you too xx

Hi.

I'm so sorry to hear your news, please feel free to add me as a friend and send me a message hun x 

I can't imagine how your all coping with that news and watch someone change that fast in front of you x that's one of my fears with my mum x x 

Please keep in touch. Thinking of you also x x x x