Advice needed

Hi, first time posting, 

my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at the beginning of Oct, with no treatment avail, they haven’t given us a time scale as she is not for for any investigation. 

So this last couple of days she has been in bed sleeping 95% of the day, not eating and barely drinking, there is some confusion there as well, breathing has been very noisy, and she’s looking dehydrated. 

however at about 4.30 this morning she got up and looks a million times better, more social, still quite breathless, two days ago we were preparing for her passing and now it seems  that it was just a blip? She’s been on and off antibiotics and steroids for the last 6 weeks. Is this the calm before the storm? 

Any advice? 

  • So sorry to hear about your mum, could not read your post  and run. The following link given to me by nursing home may help page 13 onwards gives signs to look for, the people looking after her doctors/nurses may be able to help with prognosis it is so hard for you you have my sympathy sorry my post is short. With my close friend

    When she was awake I did show her old photos it was something i could do when she was ill (lung cancer). Hoping your mum has everything she needs pain meds to keep ber comfortable you are in my thoughts, I would just spend as much time with her as you can without exhausting yourself you are doing your best xx

    www.ageuk.org.uk/.../talking_about_death_booklet_final_version.pdf

  • Sorry to send you another link but this might be of use as it discusses the final days of dying with cancer.

    I have helped care for a few people who have died from cancer.  Mostly it was a peaaceful decline (thank goodness - for their sake as well as their loved ones) but sometimes I was surprised by how somebody could perk up suddenly for a short period.  When they are pain-free and at peace with the situation this can happen.  My son's father (we were no longer together) perked up at a time when everyone felt the end was coming close - sadly it did not last for a long period and he died within a couple of days.  The same occured with my next door neighbour who when near death could become aware of everything around him for short periods.  I don't pretend to know why this happens but it was nice.  I would sit and chat with  him about anything and everything and he was quite lucid in these periods.  I - like others here - have no medical training and cannot start to guess for how long this will last but, well, make the most of these waking periods to chat with your mum about whatever she wants.  I am so sorry you are losing your mum but you sound to be doing a good job.  Annie

    www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../dying-with-cancer