I have incurable cancer, It's been 2 years and I was given 'about a year' so i'm exceeding expectations, but recently I haven't been feeling well, and I do't want to tell anyone how ill I feel because everyone is so pleased I seem to be beating "it". I've arranged a CT scan for wednesday to see if things have changed/got worse, but I'm really struggling. I keep thinking about my kids and how they might forget me if I die, and about being too ill to do things with them. I'm not normally this pessimistic but for some reason I have a feeling of dread about my results and whenever I think about it I want to cry. Anyone else have feelings like this? And anyone too scared to tell those closest how ill they feel because they know it will make them scared and upset?