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Is this the end?

nicie177
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My sister was admitted to a hospice last weekend. She is very thin, in a lot of pain which they are trying to mange, can’t move herself, has a catheter and doesn’t eat much. She has said she’s only there until they can sort out her pain medication and then she will be able to go home and get well again, but when I look at her I can’t believe that is going to happen.

3 months ago she was given weeks to live but she’s still here, still fighting! Her biggest concern at the moment seems to be her swollen belly, which I understand to be due to her liver not working properly. She thinks if they can drain the fluid it will remove the pain. Could that be the case? Could she have more time with us? I just don’t know how to feel....should I be preparing for end of life or clinging to the hope she has time left? I can’t ask her nurses as she gets very annoyed with anyone butting in, I don’t want her to feel I am going behind her back. But but knowing is causing my so much anxiety 

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    Hello nicie177; I am so sorry to learn of your siister's condition.  As well as being distressed by her condition you should not have to be worry about not knowing what is happening.  Can you not have a quiet word with the nurses (not in her hearing obviously) saying something like "My sister says she is coming home; I am a bit worried about her condition - is what she says correct as I will need to know what to do" or something like that.  I don't think it unreasonable of you to do that.  I must admit that from your description it does sound unlikely.  It is not uncommon for people who are seriously ill to cling to the notion that they are going to recover and everything will be okay again; very sad and they don't mean to cause problems - they are just in denial - and many of us would probably do the same in these circumstances.  But do try to get some information so you can know where things stand.  Best wishes.  Annie

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Annieliz, thank you for your message. Apologies for not getting back sooner but it’s been a bit if s rollercoaster ride over the last few days. We thought she was improving, eating 3 times s day and being able to sit up for a few hours each day. But in the last 24 hours her breathing has become an issue and she is much more delerious than she was. I think I need to accept that she is very near the end of life stages, if not already there. It breaks my heart but I am comforted that she is in such an amazing hospice. 

  • Offline in reply to nicie177

    Hi again.  Don't  worry about not getting back - I understand totally that you have so much to do and are very worried at the same time.    I am sorry that your sister's condition has suddenly deteriorated and it does sound as though her body is closing down.  It must help enormously to be in such a good place where everyone will do what they can to help you through this.  Just keep telling your sister how loved she is - hearing is said to be the last sense to go (apologies if I am telling you things you already know) while holding her hand and you will ease (for your sister at least) a tragic situation.  Annie

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